Monday, August 24, 2015

Biden His Time

According to a senior Democrat

President Obama has given
Vice President Joe Biden

his "blessing"
to make a bid

for the White House.

The decision is his alone

though he has gotten
and will continue to get

input from husband-and-wife team
Anita Dunn and Bob Bauer

a former White House Communications Director
and White House Counsel

who were each heavily involved
in Obama's 2008 campaign

and Steve Ricchetti
Biden's chief of staff.

One imagines Obama's blessing

went something as follows.

"Barry look
I gotta do something.

The Onion
totally paints me

as a womanizing
reckless party boy.

But that's not
who I am.

I'm a blue-collar boy from Delaware.

I can give the people
what they want
because I think like they do."

Obama has his back turned.

"Listen Joe

The Onion is satire.

No one really thinks
you're like that
except for Donald Trump's base

and they'll believe anything."

Biden answers

"Yes exactly.

Look Barry
Trump's an asshole

but he's an asshole with chutzpah
who's running for President."

Obama takes his time
then finally turns around.

"Just so we're clear here

being President
ain't an easy gig.

Why don't you go back
to being a lawyer

and make a difference that way?

People loved you.

I was a community organizer
before I took office."

Biden is persistent.

"But I gotta prove it
to them Barry.

If Trump can do it
why can't I?

No way they'll make fun
of the highest office in the land.

The Onion doesn't do that."


not quite believing
he's speaking the words
that are leaving his mouth

"Fine. Go for it."

"Great" says Biden

then as he leaves
laughs and yells back

"I'll save you a seat
in the house."

This poem © 2015 Emily Cooper.