Friday, September 30, 2016

Three AM Eternal

During the 2008 primaries
the Hillary Clinton campaign
made a somewhat ominous commercial asking voters

who they wanted to answer
the hypothetical 3 AM phone call

to respond to an impending
and presumably gravely-harmful-to-Americans crisis.

It should be noted
that only one presidential candidate

Donald Trump
was awake at 3:20 this morning

taking to Twitter
to remind reporters
of the importance of maintaining journalistic integrity

in these politically-fraught times

with "Anytime you see a story about me
or my campaign saying 'sources said,'
DO NOT believe it.

There are no sources,
they are just made up lies!"

(with no trace of irony
from a person who regularly employs the line
"People say").

Then not two hours later

he commenced a trio of tweets
declaring Hillary Clinton was "duped"

about the former Miss Universe contestant
Alicia Machado

culminating the saga
at 5:30 AM

by asking America
to do its citizenly duty and research

with "Did Crooked Hillary help disgusting
(check out sex tape and past) Alicia M
become a U.S. citizen

so she could use her in the debate?".

Sources say Donald Trump
may have helped Melania skirt visa laws
because she was hot

and that evidence of a supposed sex tape

(which shouldn't negate
one's "goodness" anyway)

was gleaned from the right-wing conspiracy theorist Alex Jones'

Given that it was a reasonable 10:20 AM
in Nairobi Kenya

maybe he was discreetly
trying to catch Obama
also being awake

and Skype-ing with his homeland.

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.