West's Wing

People like Allen West
who juggle

the two taxing
and multifaceted responsibilities

of hosting a Fox News show
and representing the Tea Party

can always be counted on
to bolster progressives' determination

to do right by our nation's
Thai-American immigrant female Iraq veterans
who lost both legs in combat

and won a Purple Heart
for their brave service

such as Tammy Duckworth

who like other Democrats
was thought to have diminished
the significance of Benghazi

by serving
on a special committee
to further investigate Benghazi

that consists only
of members of her party

(so unlike the GOP
they must have
an ulterior motive).

Why else would he say
"I just don’t know
where her loyalties lie"?

This poem © 2014 Emily Cooper.

Human Rights

Eighty US troops
have been sent
to neighboring Chad

in a growing international effort
to rescue the girls

kidnapped by the Nigerian
extremist group Boko Haram.

With great power
comes the great responsibility

to recognize if
and if so when and how
power should be used

so that might can make
or at least contribute
to right.

Sometimes you should stand back
sometimes you should meddle

but sadly
even morally-necessary meddling
holds risk

and the only thing to do
is prepare for it
and head into the storm.

This poem © 2014 Emily Cooper.

Second Amenu-ment

On Monday
Chipotle Mexican Grill

in response
to the 10,000-signature
Moms Demand Action
for Gun Sense petition

prompted by several gun aficianados
bringing loaded semi-automatics
into a Dallas restaurant

made the decision
to ban gun-carrying customers
from the premises.

It seems unlikely
that our Founding Fathers
intended our right to bear arms

to extend to conscionably-delicious
Mexican chain restaurants

but then again
they didn't have to worry

about servers
skimping on the guac

in their carnitas burrito bowls.

This poem © 2014 Emily Cooper.

Boy Genius

For anyone concerned
about Hillary Clinton's

current brain status
since last year

like the well-wisher
Karl Rove
who was responsible

for propping up
Bush's brain
for all public appearances

(also known
as being a Senior Adviser

and second in command
after Cheney

with his own
affairs of the heart)

here are words
from the concussed person herself.

"When a question is asked
it has to be answered

in a serious fashion
if it raises
a serious issue

even in
a ridiculous way."

So in short
yes concussions are terrible

requiring sensitive medical care
and generous
time allotments for healing

but she still has
more brains left

than some
of her GOP opposition
started with.

This poem © 2014 Emily Cooper.

It's Their Time Now

Barbara Walters' career
outlasted the acceptable use
of the term "newswoman".

She rose
from pouring tea

as a "Girl"
on the Today show
in the 60s

to becoming synonymous
with being a willing listening ear
to the noble

and the vile
and the morally dubious.

Then she was a measured
thoughtful contributor

on her all-female
daytime discussion show

(more than a PC
demographic cross-section

meant to nominally satisfy
some quota
for tritely-chattering ladies
visibly on-screen)

"The View".

And contrary
to popular memory

Katharine Hepburn was the one
who herself brought up
that she "felt like a tree".

What response
can a good interviewer give

but to ask her
"What kind"?

This poem © 2014 Emily Cooper.

Running Azuck

Happy 30th birthday
Mark Zuckerberg.

Sorry if virtually every
news outlet

from amateur plebeian commentators

(on websites
such as Facebook)

to veteran
at-least-still-nominally credible
media networks

(on websites
such as Facebook)

has blamed you
for everything from wasting corporations
(except Facebook)
billions of dollars per year

to the hastening
of humanity's demise
by shortening our attention spans

and making us selfish
oversharing bullying narcissists

looking for ever-infinitesimally-smaller
and more frequent
means of sugary gratification
from so-called "friends".

That really mostly is unfair
for people will do
good or ill unto others

with or without enabling technologies

and regardless of what ideas
you "borrowed" from your peeps

you're a precociously
bright guy
with billions of dollars

but when lovable
Tom from MySpace
became everyone's friend

he still seemed
a little less clingy

when we
(moderately archaically
by now)

finally clicked away.

This poem © 2014 Emily Cooper.

Measure of a Man

Hey Fox News
if you're recruiting
from the School
of Fairness and Balance

(the only school
that has any place
in our society)

and looking for an intern
to not-pay
to help write headlines

look no further
than here because

"Clay Aiken's
Republican Opponent

(well actually
he was an old white male

who like Aiken
was registered as a Democrat

and was actually
running against him
in the primary

but our viewers
need a controversy

so let's assume in his old age
he forgot to change
his registration)

in Race for Congressional Seat
Keith Crisco Dies

from Aiken's
Gay Waves of Subduction
That Caused Crisco to Fall and Die

at around 1:30 PM
in His Own Home."

So what if Aiken
is suspending
all his campaign activities

to pray for the man's
family and friends?

That's just code for
"Give me a sec

to catch the next
rainbow broomstick to Tijuana."

This poem © 2014 Emily Cooper.

One "Bad" Mother

Don't be afraid
to be a mama's boy

like LeBron James
Bill Clinton
or Barack Obama.

You may develop
a healthier respect for women

responsibility
sensitivity and empathy

and may everyone
go through life
with one mama figure
or more

birth or adopted
female or male

and today
tomorrow and after give props
to Anna Jarvis

who as a young woman
in 1908 started Mother's Day

(yes grammar nerds

with emphasis
on the apostrophe)

to honor her mother
after her death from cancer.

A religious social activist
she was against

the commercialization
of the holiday

so the iconic Beatles tune
"All You Need is Love"
is most fitting

(but she was curiously silent
about unauthorized and embarrassing

"throwback" pics
on social media).

This poem © 2014 Emily Cooper.

Spangly Banners

Arkansas you see
by the city of Light

(an unincorporated community
in Greene County)

dear old Uncle Sam
got a bit gayer tonight.

This poem © 2014 Emily Cooper.

He's Not an Eggplant

We love you
John Boehner

and yes Obama's
"orange is the new black" joke

at the Correspondents' Dinner
probably stung you

but is the best response
to your mean Republican peeps

really to start
a Benghazi committee?

This mistake and tragedy
has been probed

in 13 hearings
25,000 pages of documents
and 50 briefings

and trying to implicate Obama

any more
than he already has been
seems like a good way

to squander Congress's 
sweet vacation
from passing bipartisan legislation

with busy work.

This poem © 2014 Emily Cooper.

Have It Your So Good-Lovin' Way

Fast food workers
the world over
want a little extra cheese.

On the 15th of May
expect to see employees

from thirty-two countries
on five continents

hold solidarity protests
at McDonald's
Burger King and KFC franchises.

Given these corporations'
other recent efforts
to modernize their facades

for a pretentiously concerned
generation of aloof Millennials

who seem to like companies
that "care" and whatnot

maybe they thought
that sustainable living wages
were just too trendy.

This poem © 2014 Emily Cooper.

Primary Colors

In North Carolina
the primary has ended

with red sides and blue sides
and debate over which side

has been tainted more
by yellow journalism.

Red and blue
with an overlap of green

a crude but necessary accessory

(hopefully not to any
nasty scandals or crimes)

in the glove compartment

of the wisely-futuristic smart car
or boldly-defiant SUV
we travel to success

blend together
to put white in the middle
of it all

or not.

Tedious as it gets
sometimes to follow

the color model does change
for every election

and even the properties
of the base colors
are perpetually in flux.

This poem © 2014 Emily Cooper.

May Polio

The World Health Organization
says that the promising
downward trend

of polio infections
could soon reverse itself
as polio has re-emerged
in 10 countries

including war-torn
Central African Republic
and South Sudan.

The organization's
new rules require Pakistan
Syria and Cameroon

to vaccinate anyone
traveling abroad
at least four weeks in advance
of his or her departure

but it's good advice
for the rest of us

to "Don't hate
but rather
vaccinate

for it ain't the polio
that made FDR great

and if you don't like FDR
then 'Win one for the Gipper'

by taking a deep breath
turning off Fox News

and keeping your mind alive
by ruing that Obamacare

somehow didn't
make you sicker."

This poem © 2014 Emily Cooper.

Once He Had a Love

(Apologies to Blondie)

At Club Odyssey
he was "Mona Sinclair"

then took off his dress
and lost all his flair.

Had no hunch "Steve Wiles"
would be so un-fun 

when he turned all GOPpy
and yessed Amendment One.

You're a real man now
but maybe you're blind

if you think you can leave
all your friends behind.

Ooh ooh ooh-ahh
ooh ooh ooh-ahh ...

This poem © 2014 Emily Cooper.

Head Start

Researchers in the UK
have some bad news

for the parents of babies
with flat-topped heads

a phenomenon that has increased
in recent years

(due to that weirdly
commonplace paranoia

of hoping they will
not die suddenly
during the night

because they weren't
sleeping on their backs)

which is that

costly "helmet therapy"
will probably not help them

so luckily
you can still treat
their malformation
with noninvasive physical therapy

but not before
your next get-together

so that useless baby
can pull its ever-increasing weight

by crawling around
and serving your guests

from a small tray
of hors d'oeurves
balanced on its head.

This poem © 2014 Emily Cooper.

Paradise by the Carriage Light

Today is the National Day of Prayer
so make sure
that wherever you are

be that in a private home
a place of work
an institution of higher learning

or even maybe
in a place of worship

(if your pastor or preacher
or minister or reverend
is cool enough)

to amplify Obama's now clandestine
and nominal 
acknowledgement of Christ

by blasting that classic
Bon Jovi tune

because when you're
livin' on a prayer
you're "halfway there"

but if you should observe
concurrently
a man or woman
who carries on

like some
blind flying mammal
who has the potential
to be saved

but keeps using
the deceptively secure
deep black cover of night

to deny God's everlasting love
and fly "back into Hell"

to receive the short-term pleasures
of bodily sin

you can in fact
"go all the way tonight"

by doing what the Founder Fathers
did to false prophets
and wayward sinners

(and there's even
a special badge

with all attendees
to the 1787 Constitutional Convention
lovingly realized
in polyester thread)

and leave them be

(for Richie Sambora's awesome light
will dawn on them
one day).

This poem © 2014 Emily Cooper.