Everyone knows that every State of the Union address
is made more fun
with the addition of alcohol
but this one is special.
Whenever Trump tells a lie
take one drink.
Whenever he
in typical needlessly mean and nasty fashion
accuses Democrats
or anyone who is not him
of interfering with the forward progress of the country
take one drink.
Whenever Trump acts like he improved the economy
or that he took any deliberate action
that led to a positive change
as opposed to his (emphasis on) dumb luck
take a drink.
If he directly states or intimates
that bad news about him is fake
take a drink.
If he makes fun of Hillary
or lambastes the author of the book
whom administration officials
granted permission to acquire information
on more than a dozen occasions
take a drink.
And replace "fun" in the first sentence
with "deadly"
if playing the game
for the whole speech.
Do not do that.
Instead
so that you forget the remainder of his speech
a win in itself
but avoid overtaxing the liver
play the game for a maximum
of one minute.
This poem © 2018 Emily Cooper.
