Monday, March 30, 2015

Noah's Arc

Welcome to the Daily Show
Trevor Noah.

You may be well known
in your home country

of South Africa
on "Tonight with Trevor Noah".

However we Americans
know two things

about your home

which are Nelson Mandela
and fake sign language

presented at world-broadcasted funerals
for the same.

Please Trevor
at least in these early weeks
while we're still warming up

to holding
a third piece of information
about South Africa
in our heads

do play gently with us.

This poem © 2015 Emily Cooper.

Friday, March 27, 2015

Lahontan Cutthroat Trout

Goodbye Harry Reid

(at least when you leave
on January third 2017).

We'll remember fondly
your bold policy endorsements

your excoriation
of the Koch brothers

and that time in July 1978
when you chaired
the Nevada Gaming Commission

and a man named Jack Gordon
tried to bribe you
with $12,000

to approve new gaming devices
for casino use

and instead of reciting
your one line
"Is this the money?
as rehearsed

you instead got up
and strangled him.

This poem © 2015 Emily Cooper.

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

You May Say He's a Dreamer

It's already too late
for Ted Cruz.

He now has enrolled
his family into Obamacare

and according to the White House

he's overcome his 21-hour-filibuster
of the Affordable Care Act

and actually likes it.

How will he be reconciling
his benefiting
from government-sponsored health care

with his very recent pledge
to "repeal every word"
of the law?

Perhaps by changing his stance
on this issue?

Or maybe
just like a petty cartoon villain

by keeping it for himself
and not letting
anyone else have it

because certainly
his constituents

don't believe in entitlements.

This poem © 2015 Emily Cooper.

Sunday, March 22, 2015

A Quiet Storm

(Apologies to Smokey Robinson)
(Sung by Ted Cruz)

America let's Cruz
away from here

For 2016
the way is clear

A Falwell-er or not
you'll want us forever

though I'm a
one-term senate "baby".

Let my just-as-calculated-as-Hillary's
country campaign music
take your mind

Just release and you will find.

America's gonna fly away

to God's and Jesus'
and my way

I love it
when we're Cruz-ing together.

This poem © 2015 Emily Cooper.

Thursday, March 19, 2015

No New Tachles

Just won the Israeli election

and Netanyahu
has already backtracked

on his promise
to keep Israel

a completely undisputed
and non-volatile
one-state solution.

Even the first George Bush
told us
"No new taxes"

and yet was subject
to the Obama administration's

re-stitching of the very fabric
of time itself

to make his decisions
conform to the liberal agenda.

How else to explain it?

So when you
make your brackets

remember that Obama
has not yet wished him

a "Happy Heedless Bilateral" agreement
as is usually done

while in process
of re-evaluating his administration's approach
to peace talks.

Sadly you may
have to place your bets

squarely in the socialist camp

if you want to win
your office pool.

This poem © 2015 Emily Cooper.

Monday, March 16, 2015

Fighting for a Living

The world is fast

(or at least less "glacially"

if the movement of glaciers
in our age
still linguistically implies "slow")

an unrecognizable place

one in which
even one-percenter
real estate millionaire tycoons

like Richard Durst

can face trial

(with the possibility
of the death penalty)

for murder.

And one in which

despite a stern warning from Obama saying
"I understand this is important to you
but as you be thinking

about climate change
the economy and jobs

war and peace

maybe way at the bottom
you should be thinking
about marijuana"

there is a possibility

with enough approval
from individual states

(and granted
with the current Congress
with which to reckon)

the drug could become decriminalized
at the federal level

meaning those who chose to partake

many of whom
are often decidedly un-wealthy
(among other things)

wouldn't be arrested.

Until Durst's trial
and it is safe everywhere
to toke in public

we will bide our time

observing some sort of allegory
for our world

in the squared circle

with Mitt Romney
facing Evander Holyfield

in a charity boxing match.

This poem © 2015 Emily Cooper.

Friday, March 13, 2015

Iran-ning into the Ground

Even with the consolation
that every five years

Iran is five years away
from building a nuclear bomb

Congressional Republicans
should probably at this point

not stress their pretty little heads

about trying to manage
our reputation abroad

and should just
have a table in the corner

with a "2016 Connect-the-GOP-Candidates-

children's activity book.

This poem © 2015 Emily Cooper.

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Yearning to Breathe Free

Rest in peace Claude Sitton

who has died
at the age of 89. 

Even if he had not received
due recognition
in the form of a Pulitzer Prize

for his on-the-ground
civil rights reporting

for the News & Observer
in this poet's home state
of North Carolina

his work would have been
no less important

just as those
who were ever referred to
as the so-called huddled masses

if at all.

This poem © 2015 Emily Cooper.

Saturday, March 7, 2015

Justice Saving Time

We shall overcome
after we undergo

but it would be nice
if some trusted authority

would put a date
to someday. 

This poem © 2015 Emily Cooper.

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Freedom Falafel

Yeah so maybe
the US and Israel
aren't besties anymore

but as is his way
even though fifty Democrats
skipped Netanyahu's speech altogether

Obama was gracious
threw only the slightest of shades

and gave the biggest understatement
so far in 2015.

"I think it's important to realize the depth of
the US-Israeli relationship."

"The military and intelligence cooperation is unprecedented.
That bond is unbreakable."

"When George W. Bush
initiated the war in Iraq

if they had invited
let's say the President of France

to appear before Congress to criticize
or to air those disagreements

I think most people would say
'Well that wouldn't be the right thing to do.'"

This poem © 2015 Emily Cooper.

Sunday, March 1, 2015

Logic is the Beginning of Wisdom

Oregon Republican Representative
Bill Post

delivered a moving tribute
to Leonard Nimoy

declaring “Today is a sad day in history"
because "today the greatest Republican

in the history of the galaxy
passed away"

because "he was a legal alien
who believed in prosperity."

Though he gave his tribute
before Post did

Obama crafted
a fine counterargument

as to how "illogical" it was

that Spock would've counted himself
amongst today's GOP

when he said

"Leonard was a lifelong lover
of the arts and humanities

a supporter of the sciences"

and "generous with his talent
and his time"

then continued

that he was "cool
big-eared and level-headed"

and serving as "the center of
Star Trek’s optimistic
inclusive vision
of humanity’s future."

This poem © 2015 Emily Cooper.