Tuesday, November 26, 2019

His Bread and Butter

Dear President Trump

This poet is wondering
if you made a mistake
when you pardoned turkeys Bread and Butter

as they are good and decent animals

and unlike Eddie Gallagher
did not commit
any war crimes.

This poem © 2019 Emily Cooper.

Tuesday, November 19, 2019

Blowing His Own Whistle

Complained Republican Representative Jim Jordan of Ohio
last Wednesday

“There is one witness
one witness

that they won’t bring in front of us
they won’t bring in front
of the American people

and that’s the guy
who started it all

the whistleblower,”

going on to claim that
House Intelligence Chair Adam Schiff
knew the whistleblower's identity

and that the whistleblower
was "biased" against Trump.

Replied Democratic Representative Peter Welch of Vermont

“I say to my colleague
I’d be glad to have the person
who started it all
come in and testify.

President Trump is welcome
to take a seat right there.”

This poem © 2019 Emily Cooper.

Tuesday, November 12, 2019

Hindsight 2020

A series of ads released by the left-leaning super PAC
American Bridge

will feature rural Trump 2016 supporters

explaining why they voted for him before

and why that decision
was a mistake.

"This will be unlike
any paid media campaign before,"

says Shripal Shah
the group's vice president.

"It will be hyperlocal
authentic storytelling

that highlights local voices
to create a permission structure

for Trump 2016 voters
to flip back to our side in 2020.”

So dear former Trump voters
with a conscience

please please please

take it with you
when you go to the polls

for if you do

you will be correcting your mistake
and thereby doing so much better
than the person you once supported
has ever done.

This poem © 2019 Emily Cooper.

Tuesday, November 5, 2019

Super Tweet-Spewing

Google has created a quantum processor
that can supposedly perform
in two minutes and twenty seconds

calculations that would take the fastest supercomputer
10,000 years to complete.

But that's nothing
if you read
The New York Times' various studies
revealing that Trump has made
the following use of Twitter
since taking office in January 2017

in praise of himself in 2,026 tweets
in attacks on 630 people in 5,889 tweets
in support of conspiracy theories in 1,710 tweets
in slander of minority groups in 851 tweets
in calling media the "enemy of the people" in 36 tweets
and referring to himself as everyone's "favorite" president in 16 tweets.

Google says they have reached
"quantum supremacy"

but Trump has reached
peak white supremacy.

We call him

the Un-PC.

This poem © 2019 Emily Cooper.