Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Coulter of Personality

Now that Belgium
yesterday beat the US team
2 to 1

in the 2014 World Cup

kicking Americans
out of contention

and erasing forever
any fervor we had
for the sport

Ann Coulter
will have to find
a new target

on which to balance
our "nation's moral decay".

Because as we know
her provocative commentary

comes from a place
of wholesome grandparently concern
for maintaining

our social cohesion
through such unifying traditions

as playfully hazing
bearded or robed
or just plain weird-looking immigrants

(actual or apparent
since you can't take chances)
until they prove themselves
not to be terrorists

and keeping our
first black president honest

by judging him
through a refreshingly
ahistorical lens.

Since her commentary
requires painstaking research

to make a thoughtful
and convincing case

it will surely
be a while before we hear
from her again.

This poem © 2014 Emily Cooper.