Tuesday, March 28, 2017

A Spider Who Swallowed A Spicer

This poet's home state
of North Carolina
despite costing itself roughly $4 billion and dignity with HB2

is still capable of winning basketball games
and putting out research about spiders

namely that
theoretically of course

these arachnids
who live in 68 percent of bathrooms
(and who shun HB2 altogether
for the record)
and more than three-fourths of bedrooms

given their consumption of 400 to 800 billion tons
of food in a year

would be able to eat every last person on Earth
by March 28th of 2018. 

The two species
currently get along

except for the occasional
biting and smooshing each other

and we should vow
to keep it that way

though it wouldn't hurt to throw 
a few light snacks their way

in the form of government handouts
(so to speak)

just to be nice.

This poem © 2017 Emily Cooper.