of North Carolina
despite costing itself roughly $4 billion and dignity with HB2
is still capable of winning basketball games
and putting out research about spiders
namely that
theoretically of course
these arachnids
who live in 68 percent of bathrooms
(and who shun HB2 altogether
for the record)
and more than three-fourths of bedrooms
given their consumption of 400 to 800 billion tons
of food in a year
would be able to eat every last person on Earth
by March 28th of 2018.
The two species
currently get along
except for the occasional
biting and smooshing each other
and we should vow
to keep it that way
though it wouldn't hurt to throw
a few light snacks their way
in the form of government handouts
(so to speak)
just to be nice.
This poem © 2017 Emily Cooper.
