Boehner of Our Existence

North Carolina Representative
Mark Meadows

one of the Republicans'
most conservative voices

has introduced a motion
for Speaker John Boehner
to "vacate the chair."

He said
that "It's really more about
trying to have a conversation

on making this place work
where everybody's voice matters
where there's not a punitive culture." 

Boehner cried

at this symbolic statement
that is unlikely to oust him

but it was out of joy
not sadness

as he thought to himself

"I couldn't sue Obama
but at least one person

remembers I'm still here."

This poem © 2015 Emily Cooper.

Trump Excelsior

Happy 237th birthday
to the state of New York

which joined our union
as the eleventh state
in 1778.

Thank you for providing
the infrastructure and circumstances

for Donald Trump to exist

a quadruple draft-dodger

who can call a tortured prisoner of war
a coward

and can grossly exaggerate
campaign crowds

and claim attendance
of 20,000 supporters

or 10 times bigger

than the legal occupancy
of the building in which
they are held

and turn all negative publicity

into proof that vast swarths
see his true power

and are cowering in fear.

He need not be elected

nor told that he
has not been elected

but rather left to enjoy
his presidential fantasy camp.

This poem © 2015 Emily Cooper.

Signifying Something

This week
our nation's astronomers
have decided to overachieve

by discovering  Kepler-452b

which they believe
is a remarkably Earth-like planet
orbiting a distant Sun-like star

in the constellation Cygnus.

Meanwhile Obama
is planning a trip to Kenya

and Trump visited
the Mexican border

still quite confident
that he'll "win the Hispanic vote"

(which to be fair

Hispanic is a broad demographic category
on the Census

full of folks
that Trump didn't directly insult)

and threatened to start campaigning
on an independent ticket

but saying he hoped to stay
with the Republicans.

Either way

he'll have an unusually
Rachel Maddow-sounding
Rick Perry

to contend with
at least for right now

who says

"He offers a barking carnival act
that can be best described

as Trumpism"

which is "a toxic mix of demagoguery
mean-spiritedness and nonsense

that will lead the Republican Party
to perdition if pursued."

How these events'
players and places

collide and collude

will be a worthy exercise

for both Fox News
and poets alike

to contend with
in the near future.


This poem © 2015 Emily Cooper.

Magnificent Desolation

Buzz Aldrin has said
"For the future primarily
we must educate people in science
engineering
technology and math."

But he has also said
"We can continue to try
and clean up the gutters
all over the world"

or "we can lift our eyes up
and look into the skies
and move forward in an evolutionary way"

which obviously means
he wants to give a free vacation
to all the world's impoverished

and let them
fend for themselves on Mars

leaving Earth to be inherited
by the people who deserve it.

Which is it

Mr. Second Man

to Set Foot on The Moon
Forty-Six Years Ago
and Whose Name Nobody Remembers?

Are you some believer

in science hokery-pokery

or a True American
running to be our next
Republican leader of the free world

in 2016?

Though frankly
the mention of humanity evolving

is more than a little frightening
to the base.

This poem © 2015 Emily Cooper.

Like the Roof on Fire

(As performed by the Latin-American Rapper Pitbull)

You think you have
some big "cajones"

but I don't care what ya say

'cause as the world turns
Mr. Miss U.S.A. gon' learn

that chico right here don't play.

That when you say they're "rapists"
'bout the guys 
at the bottom of the map

you dis the whole M.I.A.U.S.A

(Movement of Immigrants in America

and yes I did say
an acronym for an immigrant
political activist group

for real

in a rap song
otherwise about "jiggling"
"wiggling" and "dancing").

So I gave Suzie a little pat
up on the booty

and she turned around and said
"We must boycott
Trump Hotels today."

We're taking
we're taking Trump down

We're taking
we're taking Trump down.

We ain't bringing
we ain't bringing Trump back

We ain't bringing
we ain't bringing Trump back.

This poem © 2015 Emily Cooper.

A Plutonic Love

Today the NASA spacecraft
New Horizons

finished a nine year-
and three-billion-mile-long journey
of the dwarf planet

with enough fuel
to take its equivalent
of a glimpse

for the humans in command

and now makes
its journey home

having avoided deadly rocks
the size
of a grain of rice.

The collected data
will still take 16 months
to transfer

but thank the heavens
that NASA

has the wherewithal
to livestream its homecoming

and post a picture
of its copper
heart-adorned surface

to Instagram.

This poem © 2015 Emily Cooper.

Trump-ty Dump-ty

Those who continue
to rail against Obama's "socialism"

and are seriously considering
a vote for Donald Trump

might do well to remember

that even an actual
total redistribution of wealth

would leave them
with far more money

than a policy

where the president
files the country for bankruptcy

and then keeps
the nearly 17 trillion dollars
in gross domestic product

for himself.

And since Trump
owns all transportation

and has a giant fence
around both borders

(to avoid a polite
Canadian invasion
and all that entails)

such folks will now
have plenty of time

and plenty of justification

for their two favorite
pre-"Trumpocalypse" activities

of complaining

and giving up
on contributing anything
to society.


This poem © 2015 Emily Cooper.

No Re-Runs or Re-Hides

A national sexual assault prevention group
Promoting Awareness Victim Empowerment

or PAVE

is calling for President Obama

to revoke Bill Cosby's
Presidential Medal of Freedom.

But Obama's eyes are bleary

and after a long pause
he says

"No I can't.

I can't do this again.

Give another solemn
yet righteously angry speech

expressing pathos and regret."

So now that Cosby
has been dropped by his talent agency

that would seem
to hurt his chances
of appearing on-screen indefinitely

until one man
known only as "V"

("I" 
which is silent

because "'I' can sneak up on you
ninja-style")

"P"

or more commonly
"Vice President Joe Biden"

assumes Obama's role
and becomes a

Very Important Prosecutor

in the blockbuster ass-kicking
of the summer

of that same name.


This poem © 2015 Emily Cooper.

We'll Be Missing U

In Donald Trump news

people the world over
who watched the match
on broadcast or web-based TV

saw Miss USA beat Miss Japan
with a record-breaking final score
of 5 to 2

(with 4 of USA's goals
being scored in the first 16 minutes

and 1 of Japan's goals
being graciously donated
by the USA).

Oh wait

that was the Women's World Cup 2015
what-the-world-calls-football match

and Donald Trump
had nothing to do with it

or even a watered-down
and hackneyed approximation

unlike his beauty pageant

for which he has spent
half a billion dollars
suing Univision Communications

to un-pull
from airing on its Spanish-language channel

(hopefully before next Sunday)

and may do the same
for NBC

who pulled him a week
after that

(still better late than never).

Plus even Rick Perry was offended
when Trump

in unambiguous and un-retractable terms

called most Mexicans "rapists."

Now he's saying
he didn't expect

the corporate and public response
to be "quite this severe."


This poem © 2015 Emily Cooper.

Playing the Trump Card

For the latest-breaking poetic news
as to why Donald Trump

would make anything resembling
a less-than-disastrous prospect
for our nation's highest office

(not that we haven't
been through that before)

watch this space.


This poem © 2015 Emily Cooper.