Friday, September 30, 2016

Three AM Eternal

During the 2008 primaries
the Hillary Clinton campaign
made a somewhat ominous commercial asking voters

who they wanted to answer
the hypothetical 3 AM phone call

to respond to an impending
and presumably gravely-harmful-to-Americans crisis.

It should be noted
that only one presidential candidate

Donald Trump
was awake at 3:20 this morning

taking to Twitter
to remind reporters
of the importance of maintaining journalistic integrity

in these politically-fraught times

with "Anytime you see a story about me
or my campaign saying 'sources said,'
DO NOT believe it.

There are no sources,
they are just made up lies!"

(with no trace of irony
from a person who regularly employs the line
"People say").

Then not two hours later

he commenced a trio of tweets
declaring Hillary Clinton was "duped"

about the former Miss Universe contestant
Alicia Machado

culminating the saga
at 5:30 AM

by asking America
to do its citizenly duty and research

with "Did Crooked Hillary help disgusting
(check out sex tape and past) Alicia M
become a U.S. citizen

so she could use her in the debate?".

Sources say Donald Trump
may have helped Melania skirt visa laws
because she was hot

and that evidence of a supposed sex tape

(which shouldn't negate
one's "goodness" anyway)

was gleaned from the right-wing conspiracy theorist Alex Jones'

Given that it was a reasonable 10:20 AM
in Nairobi Kenya

maybe he was discreetly
trying to catch Obama
also being awake

and Skype-ing with his homeland.

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Trump is the Loneliest Number

(Apologies to Harry Nilsson and Three Dog Night)
(After Donald Trump's First Debate)

Trump gave the sorriest number
that he'll ever do

or two may be more bad for Trump
and three'll drop his share of the vote
down to number one.

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

Saturday, September 24, 2016

'Bate and Switch

Monday night
is the first presidential debate

between Hillary Clinton
and Donald Trump.

One candidate is researching
and fielding endless rounds of practice questions

while the other is preparing
for a different kind of 'bating

(and will have a terrible time
even doing that).

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

We Make It Brighter

Happy 82nd birthday
Leonard Cohen

who today announced
that his forthcoming LP
"You Want It Darker"

will be released
on October 21st.

The title track
has Cohen almost-speaking
with a crackling but precise timbre

talking to God

who is put in the awkward position
of having one of His believers give up
on a rigged and losing hand

with "If you are the dealer
I'm out of the game"

and who is struck
(so to speak)

by the realization
that the Lord
gave him “permission
to murder and to maim.”

A cheery song
it is not

but one that reminds us
that we can make the choice

to play a different game.

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

Sunday, September 18, 2016

Mar and Let Go

Today in 1793
George Washington laid the cornerstone
to the United States Capitol building.

During the War of 1812
after the British
set it on fire

a thunderstorm saved the building
from being completely destroyed.

During the Civil War
the Capitol was used
as a hospital and barracks.

Expansions and upgrades
continued into the twentieth century

and the house
if not always the soul of democracy

has survived
despite all.

May the new president
not make any unnecessary renovations

nor intentionally bankrupt
our democratic experiment.

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

Thursday, September 15, 2016

Fifty States of "No Way"

The sequel to the much-maligned movie
based on the sequel
of the much-maligned book

Fifty Shades of Grey

called Fifty Shades Darker

is set to open in movie theaters
on February 17th of next year.

Donald Trump has already been playing Christian Grey

or "the mysterious billionaire
who invites America
to a relationship

in which his pretenses to populism

constantly give way
to gross misrepresentations

of the economic frustrations
that he claims to understand

accompanied by abusive behavior
in public and private

which has always been a part
of the now-candidate

and which throughout the campaign cycle
has been an almost-daily occurrence."

On Tuesday November 8th

it's time to break up with him.

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

Monday, September 12, 2016

Only Positive Results

Hillary Clinton
left a September 11th commemorative event early

complaining of feeling hot

and was subsequently diagnosed
with pneumonia.

And naturally
many "Retrumplicans" feel vindicated

in their prior assessments
of her health.

Even after taking into account
that Donald Trump pressured

his less-than-scrupulous doctor
into writing a glowing review
of the Republican candidate's health

in five minutes

as he waited in a limo

he may very well
be completely physiologically well

but it should be apparent
that if Clinton gets sick in office

it'll be working pneumonia.

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

Friday, September 9, 2016

Continental Regress

On this day in 1776
the Continental Congress

adopted a resolution
to call their freshly acquired lands "United States"

instead of "United Colonies". 

On this day in 2017
this poet will inform you

if this remains the same

or if the current president
has generously licensed his name

to "we the people"

for a very modest fee. 

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

The Tears of a Clown

The creepy clown

(which is frequently

but to be fair
not always
a redundant term)

dressed in white overalls
white gloves

and red shoes

with the characteristic curly hair
and painted face

previously spotted in South Carolina
using candy as bait
to attempt to lure kids
into the woods

has arrived in the city of Winston-Salem
in this poet's home state
of North Carolina.

And since the only thing
that can stop a clown

is another clown

Donald Trump knows
what he needs to do.

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

Saturday, September 3, 2016

Cornered by Carne

In the dystopia
of the near future

according to Latinos for Trump founder
Marco Gutierrez

not only will there be all the presumed
and therefore left unsaid
raping and cocaine-smuggling

but "you're going to have taco trucks
on every corner."

Even committed racists
would have trouble

disavowing this possible universe
for the sake
of their beliefs.

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.