Thursday, February 5, 2015

Traditional Bacterial Populations

Pope Francis became the first Pontiff
to first of all

declare the Internet
"a gift from God"

and secondly
hold a Google Hangouts video chat
with special-needs kids.

He will be addressing Congress
in September

during his first visit
to the US.

Today Obama
met the Dalai Lama

and though was advised
not to talk with him

nonetheless praised him
and greeted him
with a bow-like gesture.

Meanwhile in North Carolina

Republican Senator Thom Tillis
is seeking to deregulate hand-washing

ostensibly so that private businesses
don't have to live with the pressure

of following regulations
that ensure consumer safety

(but probably also because
he doesn't mind
if passers-by catch a whiff

of his own
private business

to hearken them back
to the days

when most ailments
were solved with whiskey

because Big Science
hadn't cured cholera yet)

meaning that to ensure
the Pope doesn't get sick

he'll either
have to greet him
with a Communist bow

or a scientifically-proven
Muslim fist bump.

It's a circuitous route
to bipartisan-ism
but one we should all applaud

with our defiantly unwashed

and furthermore
uncompromisingly American hands.

This poem © 2015 Emily Cooper.