Friday, August 21, 2015

Carters for Humanity

"Is Donald Trump
the Jimmy Carter of 2016?"

asks the headline
for the Chicago Tribune.

Now it may be true
that the neurons in one's brain

devoted to coming up with an answer
to that question

are overloaded with "WTF?".

But to be totally
fair and balanced

we will do a scientific
side-by-side "debate"

on immigration.

Carter says

"We are
of course

a nation of immigrants

but some of us too often
forget that fact.

Sometimes we forget
that the question isn't

when we came here
but why we came here."

Thank you.

And Trump?

“They have to go.

What they’re doing
they’re having a baby.

And then all of a sudden
nobody knows

the baby’s here.”

And thank you.

Thus ends the debate

and in the future
we kindly request

that the eighth-largest newspaper
in the United States

and even perhaps

the more highly-ranked ones

quit with the "basic"
Cards Against Humanity answers

for headline
and article inspiration

and to instead
go with its brand-new "on fleek" rival

"The Metagame"

where you can
pick one of six games

and choose to
"debate and discuss"

"make careful strategic decisions"

or "play as fast as possible."

Carter did those first two things
as president

while Trump has never not
in his eternal campaign for himself

done the last one.

This poem © 2015 Emily Cooper.