"Is Donald Trump
the Jimmy Carter of 2016?"
asks the headline
for the Chicago Tribune.
Now it may be true
that the neurons in one's brain
devoted to coming up with an answer
to that question
are overloaded with "WTF?".
But to be totally
fair and balanced
we will do a scientific
side-by-side "debate"
on immigration.
Carter says
"We are
of course
a nation of immigrants
but some of us too often
forget that fact.
Sometimes we forget
that the question isn't
when we came here
but why we came here."
Thank you.
And Trump?
“They have to go.
What they’re doing
they’re having a baby.
And then all of a sudden
nobody knows
the baby’s here.”
And thank you.
Thus ends the debate
and in the future
we kindly request
that the eighth-largest newspaper
in the United States
and even perhaps
the more highly-ranked ones
quit with the "basic"
Cards Against Humanity answers
for headline
and article inspiration
and to instead
go with its brand-new "on fleek" rival
"The Metagame"
where you can
pick one of six games
and choose to
"debate and discuss"
"make careful strategic decisions"
or "play as fast as possible."
Carter did those first two things
as president
while Trump has never not
in his eternal campaign for himself
done the last one.
This poem © 2015 Emily Cooper.
