President Obama has given
Vice President Joe Biden
his "blessing"
to make a bid
for the White House.
The decision is his alone
though he has gotten
and will continue to get
input from husband-and-wife team
Anita Dunn and Bob Bauer
a former White House Communications Director
and White House Counsel
respectively
who were each heavily involved
in Obama's 2008 campaign
and Steve Ricchetti
Biden's chief of staff.
One imagines Obama's blessing
went something as follows.
"Barry look
I gotta do something.
The Onion
totally paints me
as a womanizing
dope-dealing
reckless party boy.
But that's not
who I am.
I'm a blue-collar boy from Delaware.
I can give the people
what they want
because I think like they do."
Obama has his back turned.
"Listen Joe
The Onion is satire.
No one really thinks
you're like that
except for Donald Trump's base
and they'll believe anything."
Biden answers
"Yes exactly.
Look Barry
Trump's an asshole
but he's an asshole with chutzpah
who's running for President."
Obama takes his time
then finally turns around.
"Just so we're clear here
being President
ain't an easy gig.
Why don't you go back
to being a lawyer
and make a difference that way?
People loved you.
I was a community organizer
before I took office."
Biden is persistent.
"But I gotta prove it
to them Barry.
If Trump can do it
why can't I?
No way they'll make fun
of the highest office in the land.
The Onion doesn't do that."
Finally
not quite believing
he's speaking the words
that are leaving his mouth
"Fine. Go for it."
"Great" says Biden
then as he leaves
laughs and yells back
"I'll save you a seat
in the house."
This poem © 2015 Emily Cooper.
