Thursday, April 28, 2016

An Infernal Racket

It took only John Boehner's casual remark

that Ted Cruz
was "Lucifer in the flesh"

for Cruz
to double down
with some serious "shade"

disguised as constructive criticism

retorting that Boehner
had "allowed his inner Trump
to come out".

Meanwhile in Hell
Satan decided to shed a tear

along with him.

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

Monday, April 25, 2016

Teach Your Children Well

On April 25th in 1983

the Soviet Union
released a letter

that Russian leader Yuri Andropov
had written in response

to a note from an American fifth-grader
named Samantha Smith
from Manchester Maine

who asked if the Soviets
were planning to start
a nuclear war.

He answered

that Russia wanted
to “live in peace
to trade and cooperate
with all our neighbors on the globe

no matter how close
or far away they are

and certainly
with such a great country

as the United States of America.”

In this reality

Andropov invited Smith
to the Soviet Union

and she became
an ambassador for peace

until she was tragically killed
in a plane crash

in August of 1985
at the age of 13.

This event is just one
which would be rewritten
in history textbooks

via an executive order
from the Trump presidency

changing the story

to end with Smith's plane
being shot down
by the USSR.

This just makes it all the more important
for people of all ages

to learn our shared history

before we all
are doomed to repeat
Trump's version of it.

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

Friday, April 22, 2016

Nothing Compared 2 U

Happy Actual
but Unofficial Birthday
(plus one day)

to the Queen

and Happy "We Acknowledge
That This is Our Shared

Even if Certain Interests
Would Rather Have it For Themselves" Earth Day

and of course

Happy First Day
of Purple Reign

in the Afterlife

2 U
the 1 and only Prince.

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

Tuesday, April 19, 2016

A Pint of Conviction

The co-founders
of Ben & Jerry's ice cream

Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield

along with approximately 300 other people

have been arrested

after participating
in the "Democracy Awakening" protests

on the Capitol steps
in Washington, D.C..

The coincidentally Vermont-based
Bernie Sanders'-supporting owners

are no strangers
to creating politically topical names
for their flavors

though "The Average Price
of Acquiring This Arrestingly Good Pint

and Coincidentally Our Only Hope
for Reviving a Democratic Govern-mint

is $27"

may be a little unwieldy.

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

Saturday, April 16, 2016

Rough Justice

When Donald Trump says

“The Republican National Committee
they’d better get going

because I’ll tell you what
you’re going to have a rough July
at that convention”

it's really not his fault
that most of his words

are accompanied by a thinly-veiled overtone
of tiny-handed violence

(Oh wait a minute

yes it is.)

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Cruz-ing for Jesus

The popular porn site xHamster
is now greeting visitors
from North Carolina

with a petition
asking them to support LGBT rights

after first having
blocked them completely

after the passage of HB2.

However bizarre it may seem
for a porn site
to take a political stance

against an unjust bill

(considering some of the un-PC labels

used for categories of racy videos
featuring members
of said community)

it makes a whole lot more sense

than a politician
taking a stance
against sex toys.

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

Sunday, April 10, 2016

Points of Inflection

In a speech he made
in his and coincidentally
Bernie Sanders'

home state of New York
Donald Trump said

"Take a look
at what's happening to Bernie.

He wins
he wins
he wins
he wins

and I hear
he doesn't have a chance"

and added

"I'm not a fan of Bernie.
I couldn't care less 
about Bernie.

But he wins
like me.

This is a 
crooked system folks."

Trump's misunderstanding
of delegates
and primaries and caucuses

and most things notwithstanding

the two candidates
would appear to be in agreement

on that general point.

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

Thursday, April 7, 2016

The Blaze of Insight

According to Glenn Beck

the world
is in a state of chaos

because Americans
are worshiping the pre-Abrahamic deities
Baal and Moloch.

"It was worship the god of finance
the god of war
and the god of the earth.

I mean, we’re there"

he said.

While understanding
that this was probably not
his intended meaning

those first two "gods"

of wealth inequality
and unjust war

are two which Bernie Sanders wants addressed

(or "slain"
if one is being pre-Abrahamic).

And as is common
for someone in his
perpetually mentally turned-on state

Beck mispronounced
the names of the deities

whose real appellations

are Malice and Bullshit.

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

Monday, April 4, 2016

Can't Trump Reality

The Villanova Wildcats

defeated the Tar Heels
77 to 74

giving them their first win
in 31 years

but UNC made
a valiant effort

and can take solace
in their victories

at five previous
NCAA Tournament Championships.

Meanwhile Donald Trump

continues to lose favor
even among hardcore Republicans

and was only
ever a winner

in the minds
of the people
who trusted him.

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

Friday, April 1, 2016

Don't Know Much

(Sung by President Obama about Donald Trump)
(Apologies to Sam Cooke)

Don't know much
foreign policy

Don't know much
'bout nuclear armory

Don't know much
'bout how Korea's built

Don't know much
'bout the whole damn world.

But he thinks
he has half a clue

and he thinks
when his two terms are through

what a wonderful world
this would be.

(And that's no
April Fool's joke.)

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.