Now that Belgium
yesterday beat the US team
2 to 1
in the 2014 World Cup
kicking Americans
out of contention
and erasing forever
any fervor we had
for the sport
Ann Coulter
will have to find
a new target
on which to balance
our "nation's moral decay".
Because as we know
her provocative commentary
comes from a place
of wholesome grandparently concern
for maintaining
our social cohesion
through such unifying traditions
as playfully hazing
bearded or robed
or just plain weird-looking immigrants
(actual or apparent
since you can't take chances)
until they prove themselves
not to be terrorists
and keeping our
first black president honest
by judging him
through a refreshingly
ahistorical lens.
Since her commentary
requires painstaking research
to make a thoughtful
and convincing case
it will surely
be a while before we hear
from her again.
This poem © 2014 Emily Cooper.
