Who knew that Aaron Carter
the former party-pop sensation
and younger brother
of former Backstreet Boy
Nick Carter
even with his equal parts-military cadence
and pep rally-style
hit from 2002
called "America A O"
(which actually includes
in un-Trumpian fashion
"half black
white
Spanish"
and "Chinese"
in the list of people
to whom he requests
"show me what you got"
in the friendliest sense)
would tweet his support
for Donald Trump
and thereby indicate his approval
of the "Our parents
made us do this"
freelance "Freedom Kids"
rather than Bernie Sanders
who has no official mascots
but fans who make
catchy and moving music videos
which actually articulate
his intended policy goals
and continuously spoken and lived values?
Carter has since
had to defend his endorsement
in a continuous stream of tweets
telling fans he believed
Trump would support gay rights
but would not vote for him
if he didn't.
That may be an optimistic view
of the candidate
whose response to his endorsement
by former Grand Wizard
of the Ku Klux Klan
Dr. David Duke
was "I disavow it.
Okay?"
This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.
Saturday, February 27, 2016
Wednesday, February 24, 2016
Savaging the Status Quo
In a guest post for SCOTUSblog
President Obama
has described his criteria
for nominating the next
Supreme Court justice.
His ideal candidate
would have "a sterling record"
"a deep respect
for the judiciary role"
and "an understanding of the way
the world really works."
Even staunch Obama-haters
would do well to consider
whether Sarah Palin
to whom it would be only fair
if Donald Trump gave
some political office
(if not the Vice Presidency)
in return for her skilled campaigning
on his behalf
would be the best person
for this role.
This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.
President Obama
has described his criteria
for nominating the next
Supreme Court justice.
His ideal candidate
would have "a sterling record"
"a deep respect
for the judiciary role"
and "an understanding of the way
the world really works."
Even staunch Obama-haters
would do well to consider
whether Sarah Palin
to whom it would be only fair
if Donald Trump gave
some political office
(if not the Vice Presidency)
in return for her skilled campaigning
on his behalf
would be the best person
for this role.
This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.
Sunday, February 21, 2016
The Right to Fall
We say goodbye to you
Jeb Bush
as you exit
the presidential race.
Though no one
with a memory
of a not-so-distant past
has been clamoring
for another Bush
in the White House
this poet occasionally
did feel sorry
for Mr. "Low Energy"
if only because
Donald Trump's making fun of him
brought him the tiniest bit
more in touch
with every other demographic.
This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.
Jeb Bush
as you exit
the presidential race.
Though no one
with a memory
of a not-so-distant past
has been clamoring
for another Bush
in the White House
this poet occasionally
did feel sorry
for Mr. "Low Energy"
if only because
Donald Trump's making fun of him
brought him the tiniest bit
more in touch
with every other demographic.
This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.
Thursday, February 18, 2016
The Antipope
When Pope Francis says
that Donald Trump
as "a person who thinks only
about building walls
wherever they may be
and not building bridges"
is therefore "not Christian”
the obvious response for Trump
is clearly neither
keeping his mouth shut
nor even claiming
that his border wall
is in fact
a border wall of love
but instead saying
in a speech in South Carolina
"For a religious leader
to question a person's faith
is disgraceful"
and adding
"The Mexican government fed the pope
a tremendous amount of stuff
about 'Trump is not
a good person'.
Can you imagine that?"
This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.
that Donald Trump
as "a person who thinks only
about building walls
wherever they may be
and not building bridges"
is therefore "not Christian”
the obvious response for Trump
is clearly neither
keeping his mouth shut
nor even claiming
that his border wall
is in fact
a border wall of love
but instead saying
in a speech in South Carolina
"For a religious leader
to question a person's faith
is disgraceful"
and adding
"The Mexican government fed the pope
a tremendous amount of stuff
about 'Trump is not
a good person'.
Can you imagine that?"
This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.
Monday, February 15, 2016
Stupidity Regarded as Wisdom
Justice Antonin Scalia
who was found dead Saturday
at a Texas ranch
at the age of 79
and who had chronic health problems
was no doubt murdered via heart attack
given by a president
who wants to fill his seat
to create a now Democrat-majority court
who will kowtow
to his socialist agenda
and who himself continues to receive
both emailed and tweeted death threats
according to Republican conspiracy theorists
also known as Fox News'
primary source of information.
This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.
who was found dead Saturday
at a Texas ranch
at the age of 79
and who had chronic health problems
was no doubt murdered via heart attack
given by a president
who wants to fill his seat
to create a now Democrat-majority court
who will kowtow
to his socialist agenda
and who himself continues to receive
both emailed and tweeted death threats
according to Republican conspiracy theorists
also known as Fox News'
primary source of information.
This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.
Friday, February 12, 2016
Cut Along the Bias
In a new gender-blind study
a six-person team
of computer science researchers
looked at three million contributions
or "pull requests"
on the repository website GitHub
and found
that when the gender
of a contributor was unknown
a woman's code
was accepted 78.6 percent
of the time
while a man's
was accepted only 74.6 percent
of the time
though women
were more likely
to have their code rejected
when gender was revealed.
Though the results
have not yet been peer-reviewed
what might they indicate
about male politicians
Ted Cruz and Donald Trump
debating which of them
is more pro-restricting abortion rights
and simultaneously
more pro-woman
than the other?
Probably nothing.
This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.
a six-person team
of computer science researchers
looked at three million contributions
or "pull requests"
on the repository website GitHub
and found
that when the gender
of a contributor was unknown
a woman's code
was accepted 78.6 percent
of the time
while a man's
was accepted only 74.6 percent
of the time
though women
were more likely
to have their code rejected
when gender was revealed.
Though the results
have not yet been peer-reviewed
what might they indicate
about male politicians
Ted Cruz and Donald Trump
debating which of them
is more pro-restricting abortion rights
and simultaneously
more pro-woman
than the other?
Probably nothing.
This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.
Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Just Bee-ing Herself
Samantha Bee
a former correspondent
for Jon Stewart
on "The Daily Show"
last night premiered
her weekly show "Full Frontal" on TBS.
With her debut
she has become
the first woman
on American television
to host a late-night show
taking witty aim
at both Hillary Clinton's
and Bernie Sanders'
(as it is true
that despite their respective merits
they are still politicians)
claims to authenticity.
But as the ultimate test
of her inheritance
to the hosting throne
this poet proposes
that her next topic
be comparing Bernie Sanders
and his vocal condemnation
of sexist "Bernie Bros"
to Donald Trump
and his endorsement through repetition
of a New Hampshire voter's assessment
of Ted Cruz
as a certain part
of female anatomy.
This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.
a former correspondent
for Jon Stewart
on "The Daily Show"
last night premiered
her weekly show "Full Frontal" on TBS.
With her debut
she has become
the first woman
on American television
to host a late-night show
taking witty aim
at both Hillary Clinton's
and Bernie Sanders'
(as it is true
that despite their respective merits
they are still politicians)
claims to authenticity.
But as the ultimate test
of her inheritance
to the hosting throne
this poet proposes
that her next topic
be comparing Bernie Sanders
and his vocal condemnation
of sexist "Bernie Bros"
to Donald Trump
and his endorsement through repetition
of a New Hampshire voter's assessment
of Ted Cruz
as a certain part
of female anatomy.
This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.
Saturday, February 6, 2016
Real Talk
Bernie Sanders
not only a current politician
but a former actor
who played Rabbi Manny Shevitz
in the low-budget
(which is suitably populist)
1999 romantic comedy
"My X-Girlfriend’s Wedding Reception"
in which he condemned
the 1957 transfer
of the Brooklyn Dodgers
to Los Angeles
(a politically formative event
for the politician)
and a neighbor
giving out candy on Halloween
in another romcom
the 1988 film "Sweet Heart's Dance"
will be on Saturday Night Live tonight
and Bill Maher
who certainly does not do so
for everybody
has given him
the ringing endorsement
of "Fuck yeah."
This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.
not only a current politician
but a former actor
who played Rabbi Manny Shevitz
in the low-budget
(which is suitably populist)
1999 romantic comedy
"My X-Girlfriend’s Wedding Reception"
in which he condemned
the 1957 transfer
of the Brooklyn Dodgers
to Los Angeles
(a politically formative event
for the politician)
and a neighbor
giving out candy on Halloween
in another romcom
the 1988 film "Sweet Heart's Dance"
will be on Saturday Night Live tonight
and Bill Maher
who certainly does not do so
for everybody
has given him
the ringing endorsement
of "Fuck yeah."
This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.
Wednesday, February 3, 2016
Help in Patience and Prayer
Should it be progressive
for President Obama
to visit a mosque in Baltimore
and then to tell the people there
"If you’re ever wondering
whether you fit in here
let me say it
as clearly as I can
as president of the United States.
You fit in here
right here”?
It doesn't matter
but the rest of the country
believing that they do
would certainly be progress.
This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.
for President Obama
to visit a mosque in Baltimore
and then to tell the people there
"If you’re ever wondering
whether you fit in here
let me say it
as clearly as I can
as president of the United States.
You fit in here
right here”?
It doesn't matter
but the rest of the country
believing that they do
would certainly be progress.
This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.
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