Profiles in Discouraging

Writing a dating profile
for the leader of the free world

who resolves every day
to make it less free

is not an easy task
but is nonetheless
worth a shot.

Trump likes his steaks well done
and slathered in ketchup

and his pointless beefs German

with a side
of isolationism

that threatens America's
trustworthiness and reputation
with long-time allies.

He likes his communications directors
quiet and compliant

and his Representatives
violent towards journalists.

The brutal leaders he likes
will not even receive
a slap on the wrist

but at least
he gets them himself
from frustrated spouses.


This poem © 2017 Emily Cooper.

A Hole in One Term

Even in the Trump era
occasionally a bit of good news

merciful and wholesome
manages to find its way to us.

A large sinkhole
has opened up

in front of Mar-a-Lago

and while the President
was unfortunately abroad
at the time

at least we have a reminder
that later or sooner

all bad things
come to an end.


This poem © 2017 Emily Cooper.

Peach is the Trumpest Color

Listen Donnie
how unfair to your high standards
would it be

if after eviscerating Hillary
for her handling
of classified emails

you shared classified information
about terrorism
with Russia

thereby threatening our relationship
with the anonymous Middle Eastern country

who let us be privy to that knowledge
and who was under the impression
that we would use it to assist them

in fighting ISIS

and still got to keep your job?






This poem © 2017 Emily Cooper.

Underappreci-yated

Be a woman.
Do your job
as acting attorney general

and tell him
that his national security adviser

has lied to the vice president
about his Russian contacts

and is vulnerable to blackmail.

Get fired.

After getting fired
keep your cool
in a hearing

and armed with information
and poise and patience

revealing information
that could lead to the realization

that he did one thing
or a few things
or many things

which are illegal
and thereby

irk your Twitter-happy
thin-skinned
weak-willed

compulsive liar of a former boss
into tweeting
the witness-intimidating

"Ask Sally Yates,
under oath, if she knows
how classified information

got into the newspapers soon
after she explained it
to W.H. Counsel".

Then after all of that

in serving Trump
and his dishonorable administration

you will have honorably preserved
not only your dignity
through it all

but American democracy.



This poem © 2017 Emily Cooper.

One Hundred Three Days of Trumpitude

This past Sunday
Congress came up with a spending deal
to keep the government open until September.

The deal will not fund
Trump's border wall

nor decrease the budget
for sanctuary cities.

Even more infuriatingly
should the bipartisan bill pass

spending will increase for domestic programs

and protections put in place
for Planned Parenthood
and Affordable Care Act subsidies.

In response
Donald Trump tweeted

"The reason for the plan negotiated
between the Republicans and Democrats

is that we need 60 votes in the Senate
which are not there!

We either
elect more Republican Senators in 2018
or change the rules now to 51%.

Our country
needs a good 'shutdown'
in September to fix mess!"

and thereby assuring all Americans
that he puts personal agenda
over maintaining a functioning government

and that when the going gets tough
the defeated get whiny.

This poem © 2017 Emily Cooper.