The American of the Year

Either Senator Orrin Hatch
(also known as
as a kind-of-similar-looking person

who would volunteer
to play Jeff Sessions
in a movie

were the latter
perhaps involved
in a legal incident)

is a master of dry wit

or did not do the reading
when he said it was an honor
to be named
"Utahn of the Year"

by the Salt Lake Tribune

in an article
that eviscerates him

for his role in dismantling the Bears Ears
and Grand Staircase-Escalante national monuments.

his role as Chairman
of the Senate Finance Committee

which facilitated Congress
making a major
overhaul to the tax code

and "his utter lack of integrity
that rises from his unquenchable thirst for power."

The author of the article
pleads that he not run for re-election
to an eighth term

and that if does
that voters should the do the right thing
and not vote for him.

A third possibility
is that Hatch was borrowing from the Trump school
of what could loosely be called "thought"

namely the one of
"When you have some haters

even and especially
when they have very good reasons
to hate you

assume their words are a cover
for 'I love you
always and forever

but am too scared
and jealous to say it.'"


This poem © 2017 Emily Cooper.

Seven Dirty Words

Were he still alive
George Carlin would be grateful
that the Trump administration

has helpfully written a sequel

to his famed bit

now called "Seven Dirty Words
You Can't Say at the CDC"

which are

"vulnerable"
"entitlement"
"diversity"
"transgender"
"fetus"
"evidence-based"

and "science based."

Similarly to the ones listed by Carlin

these are concepts
that are deemed offensive

and not suitable for the public.

Dissimilarly
they are offensive to the same people

who voted for Trump
for his outspokenness

because they mistakenly thought
he wasn't making fun of them.



This poem © 2017 Emily Cooper.

Show Them Who You Are

Dear Mr. Trump

Keep talking
keep tweeting
keep disparaging
keep silencing women

keep claiming that Senator Kirsten Gillibrand

was "'begging' for campaign contributions
not so long ago

(and would do anything for them)."

Keep talking.

Someday they will believe you.



This poem © 2017 Emily Cooper.

Do the No Collusion

(Apologies to Little Eva)
(Sung by Vladimir Putin)

Everybody's doing a brand-new dance now
Come on Flynny
do the "no collusion"

Talkin' with the Kremlin to improve Donald's chances
Come on Flynny
do the "no collusion"

The Trump brothers and their sister can do it with me
Easy as unraveling democracy

so come on
come on

Do the "no collusion"
with me.

Make up
Retract

You know I think
you've got the knack.





This poem © 2017 Emily Cooper.