The Recycle Bin

Among the newly released documents
seized from Osama bin Laden's
compound in Pakistan

on May 2 of 2011

is an undated letter
"to the American people"

appearing to have been written
shortly after President Obama
took office in 2009

and which blames corporate lobbyists
for the then-recent financial crisis

and the wars
in Iraq and Afghanistan. 

His letter calls on Americans
to launch "a great revolution for freedom"

to liberate Obama
from these concerns.

In a separate and unsigned letter

bin Laden encourages
a close aide

to stage a media campaign

on the tenth anniversary
of the World Trade Center attacks

September 11 2011

to force Americans to make
"a rational decision
to save humanity

from the harmful gases
that threaten its destiny"

rather than continue
its perceived war against Islam.

It can only be imagined

just how the beliefs
of a long-dead man
killed during Obama's administration

will persuade
Republican presidential candidates

to claim Democrats
are supporting terrorism
by fighting climate change.

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

Aaron's Party

Who knew that Aaron Carter

the former party-pop sensation
and younger brother

of former Backstreet Boy
Nick Carter

even with his equal parts-military cadence
and pep rally-style
hit from 2002

called "America A O"

(which actually includes
in un-Trumpian fashion

"half black
white
Spanish"

and "Chinese"

in the list of people
to whom he requests
"show me what you got"

in the friendliest sense)

would tweet his support
for Donald Trump

and thereby indicate his approval

of the "Our parents
made us do this"

freelance "Freedom Kids"

rather than Bernie Sanders

who has no official mascots

but fans who make
catchy and moving music videos

which actually articulate
his intended policy goals

and continuously spoken and lived values?

Carter has since
had to defend his endorsement

in a continuous stream of tweets

telling fans he believed
Trump would support gay rights

but would not vote for him
if he didn't.

That may be an optimistic view
of the candidate

whose response to his endorsement
by former Grand Wizard
of the Ku Klux Klan

Dr. David Duke

was "I disavow it.

Okay?"


This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

Savaging the Status Quo

In a guest post for SCOTUSblog

President Obama
has described his criteria

for nominating the next
Supreme Court justice.

His ideal candidate
would have "a sterling record"

"a deep respect
for the judiciary role"

and "an understanding of the way
the world really works."

Even staunch Obama-haters
would do well to consider
whether Sarah Palin

to whom it would be only fair
if Donald Trump gave
some political office

(if not the Vice Presidency)

in return for her skilled campaigning
on his behalf

would be the best person
for this role.

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

The Right to Fall

We say goodbye to you
Jeb Bush

as you exit
the presidential race.

Though no one
with a memory
of a not-so-distant past

has been clamoring
for another Bush
in the White House

this poet occasionally
did feel sorry
for Mr. "Low Energy"

if only because
Donald Trump's making fun of him

brought him the tiniest bit
more in touch

with every other demographic.

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

The Antipope

When Pope Francis says
that Donald Trump

as "a person who thinks only
about building walls

wherever they may be
and not building bridges"

is therefore "not Christian”

the obvious response for Trump

is clearly neither
keeping his mouth shut

nor even claiming
that his border wall

is in fact
a border wall of love

but instead saying
in a speech in South Carolina

"For a religious leader
to question a person's faith
is disgraceful"

and adding

"The Mexican government fed the pope
a tremendous amount of stuff

about 'Trump is not
a good person'.

Can you imagine that?"

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

Stupidity Regarded as Wisdom

Justice Antonin Scalia
who was found dead Saturday
at a Texas ranch

at the age of 79
and who had chronic health problems

was no doubt murdered via heart attack
given by a president
who wants to fill his seat

to create a now Democrat-majority court
who will kowtow
to his socialist agenda

and who himself continues to receive
both emailed and tweeted death threats

according to Republican conspiracy theorists

also known as Fox News'
primary source of information.

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

Cut Along the Bias

In a new gender-blind study

a six-person team
of computer science researchers

looked at three million contributions
or "pull requests"

on the repository website GitHub

and found
that when the gender
of a contributor was unknown

a woman's code
was accepted 78.6 percent
of the time

while a man's
was accepted only 74.6 percent
of the time

though women
were more likely
to have their code rejected

when gender was revealed.

Though the results
have not yet been peer-reviewed

what might they indicate

about male politicians
Ted Cruz and Donald Trump

debating which of them
is more pro-restricting abortion rights

and simultaneously
more pro-woman
than the other?

Probably nothing.

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

Just Bee-ing Herself

Samantha Bee
a former correspondent
for Jon Stewart

on "The Daily Show"

last night premiered
her weekly show "Full Frontal" on TBS.

With her debut
she has become

the first woman 
on American television

to host a late-night show

taking witty aim
at both Hillary Clinton's
and Bernie Sanders'

(as it is true
that despite their respective merits
they are still politicians)

claims to authenticity.

But as the ultimate test

of her inheritance
to the hosting throne

this poet proposes
that her next topic

be comparing Bernie Sanders
and his vocal condemnation
of sexist "Bernie Bros"

to Donald Trump
and his endorsement through repetition

of a New Hampshire voter's assessment
of Ted Cruz

as a certain part

of female anatomy.

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

Real Talk

Bernie Sanders

not only a current politician
but a former actor
who played Rabbi Manny Shevitz

in the low-budget
(which is suitably populist)
1999 romantic comedy

"My X-Girlfriend’s Wedding Reception"

in which he condemned
the 1957 transfer

of the Brooklyn Dodgers
to Los Angeles

(a politically formative event
for the politician)

and a neighbor
giving out candy on Halloween

in another romcom

the 1988 film "Sweet Heart's Dance"

will be on Saturday Night Live tonight

and Bill Maher

who certainly does not do so
for everybody

has given him
the ringing endorsement

of "Fuck yeah."

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

Help in Patience and Prayer

Should it be progressive

for President Obama
to visit a mosque in Baltimore

and then to tell the people there

"If you’re ever wondering
whether you fit in here

let me say it
as clearly as I can

as president of the United States.

You fit in here

right here”?

It doesn't matter

but the rest of the country
believing that they do

would certainly be progress.

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

Life's Rich Pageant

It seems as though
if Donald Trump trusted anyone

it would be
the conventionally attractive women

of his Miss USA competition.

Or maybe it doesn't.

A former Miss Iowa competitor

Elizabeth Mae Davidson

and current field organizer
for Trump's presidential campaign

was fired after mentioning
in a New York Times article

that she was paid less
for doing the same jobs as men

and banned from speaking
at rallies and events

while male organizers were not.

Though she worked part-time
and had a second job
as a paralegal

male employees in her position
were not docked

for working part-time.

If on the off chance

he ever wanted
to rectify the situation

maybe he could borrow
some of the $20 million

Bernie Sanders' campaign
raised in January.

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

A Malignant Progression

President Obama
has signed a memorandum

to create a White House
task force on cancer

and has appointed
Vice President Joe Biden

who has called this effort
a "moonshot"
to eradicate the disease

as its leader

having lost his son Beau
to cancer last year.

Even though Donald Trump
says he can defeat everything

with a simple application
of more bigness
and more badness than anyone

he's no doubt
going to find a way

to say something
completely wrong and insensitive.


This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

The Most Dangerous Game

If there is one person

in whom the general public
would feel comfortable trusting

to make an app

that first person who came to mind

would probably not
be Donald Rumsfeld

though luckily

it has nothing to do
with reviving the relics
of the Bush administration

and is just a game
called Churchill's Solitaire

which was not explicitly
created by him

but was created
with Rumsfeld's input

by developers Snapdragon Studios
and media agency Javelin.

However Rumsfeld
does call it "diabolical"

in his article
at Medium.com
describing the game's inspiration

from a meeting with André de Staercke
in 1973

a Belgian government aide

who the Nazis
during World War II
had forced into exile

and who later became
the secretary

of the forever inimitable Churchill

who had demonstrated to him
a more "demanding and complex"

version of solitaire
played with two decks

and 10 rows of cards.

The rest of the world wishes
that Donald had only realized

his programming potential
years ago

rather than pursuing
unknown unknowns.

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

The Sound of Treachery

Fifty years ago

on January 22nd 1966

the top song
on the Billboard charts

was "The Sound of Silence"
by Simon and Garfunkel

and Bernie Sanders
for his latest television ad

has chosen
the duo's song "America".

He must be communicating
some really subversive message

like "Americans should not be silent."

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

La Cebolla

Univision Communications
the largest broadcaster

of Spanish-language programming
in the U.S.

has bought a controlling stake
in satirical news site

The Onion.

The question remains

as to whether
the company will also sue

the satirical Donald Trump

for his offensive comments
about illegal immigration

and refuse to satirize
a single word
about his beauty contest.

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.