Just Peachy

Quite ironically

in a letter
to Nancy Pelosi
Trump calls the impeachment inquiry
an "open war on American democracy"

and declares that Pelosi views
"democracy as the enemy."

What's it like to be impeached?

In all seriousness

given his toddler-esque defensiveness

we can only assume

it is
(or soon will be)
the pits.

This poem © 2019 Emily Cooper.

Fitting Articles

To those who can
recognize the obvious

the man-who-thinks-he's-emperor
wears no articles of clothing
(only figuratively
thank God)

but he may soon wear
the articles of impeachment

Abuse of Power
and Obstruction of Congress

which are the only brands
that really suit him.

This poem © 2019 Emily Cooper.

His Bread and Butter

Dear President Trump

This poet is wondering
if you made a mistake
when you pardoned turkeys Bread and Butter

as they are good and decent animals

and unlike Eddie Gallagher
did not commit
any war crimes.


This poem © 2019 Emily Cooper.

Blowing His Own Whistle

Complained Republican Representative Jim Jordan of Ohio
last Wednesday

“There is one witness
one witness

that they won’t bring in front of us
they won’t bring in front
of the American people

and that’s the guy
who started it all

the whistleblower,”

going on to claim that
House Intelligence Chair Adam Schiff
knew the whistleblower's identity

and that the whistleblower
was "biased" against Trump.

Replied Democratic Representative Peter Welch of Vermont

“I say to my colleague

I’d be glad to have the person

who started it all

come in and testify.

President Trump is welcome

to take a seat right there.”

This poem © 2019 Emily Cooper.

Hindsight 2020

A series of ads released by the left-leaning super PAC
American Bridge

will feature rural Trump 2016 supporters

explaining why they voted for him before

and why that decision
was a mistake.

"This will be unlike
any paid media campaign before,"

says Shripal Shah
the group's vice president.

"It will be hyperlocal
authentic storytelling

that highlights local voices
to create a permission structure

for Trump 2016 voters
to flip back to our side in 2020.”

So dear former Trump voters
with a conscience

please please please

take it with you
when you go to the polls

for if you do

you will be correcting your mistake
and thereby doing so much better
than the person you once supported
has ever done.

This poem © 2019 Emily Cooper.

Super Tweet-Spewing

Google has created a quantum processor
that can supposedly perform
in two minutes and twenty seconds

calculations that would take the fastest supercomputer
10,000 years to complete.

But that's nothing
if you read
The New York Times' various studies
revealing that Trump has made
the following use of Twitter
since taking office in January 2017

in praise of himself in 2,026 tweets
in attacks on 630 people in 5,889 tweets
in support of conspiracy theories in 1,710 tweets
in slander of minority groups in 851 tweets
in calling media the "enemy of the people" in 36 tweets
and referring to himself as everyone's "favorite" president in 16 tweets.

Google says they have reached
"quantum supremacy"

but Trump has reached
peak white supremacy.

We call him

the Un-PC.


This poem © 2019 Emily Cooper.

To the Ball Game

Dear Trump

if you won't let Obama
take credit for killing bin Laden
then you certainly shouldn't take credit

for killing Baghdadi

nor should you plug an old book
you probably didn't even write

which merely addresses bin Laden
as a "shadowy figure with no fixed address"

and use it
to credit yourself

with predicting the 9/11 attacks
and giving advice on how to stop it

as you have trouble predicting events
after the fact.

But this poet has no real piece of advice
since you don't listen

except perhaps
to go to more baseball games.


This poem © 2019 Emily Cooper.

Bar None

Dear Trump

when it comes to a horrible thing
like lynching

that has happened to people
who are not you

it would do you well 
to first consult a dictionary

before you compare it
to your own experience

of justified inquisition

but wait
you can't read.

Barring that

you should first use common sense

to see whether that makes an iota
of a millionth of a degree of sense

but wait
you don't have any.

Barring that

you should

unwisely make the comparison

then sincerely apologize
for the very real damage
your rhetoric

has caused to human lives

but wait
you have no humiliation.

Barring that

you should
as usual
let the justified anger of others

roll off of you

until everyone forgets about
this particular horrible thing
and the other horrible things
and the horrible-thing-that-led-to-an-inquiry-of-you-and-yours thing

unless this time

they don't.


This poem © 2019 Emily Cooper.

Prime Time Priorities

In the past several days

Trump has abandoned Kurds

acquiesced to enemies

been the client
of a lawyer
who defied subpoena orders

and been the subject
of an admirer's video
showing him shooting journalists
and political opponents.

So naturally it only makes sense

that at about 8:30
on a Monday morning

Trump would make a sincere and impassioned plea
to the American public

to vote for Sean Spicer

on Dancing with the Stars.


This poem © 2019 Emily Cooper.

An Impeachment Lament

Dear President Trump

The one thing
this poet will rue

about you being impeached

is the fact
that she'll need to find

another topic to write about

after you have given her
so much material.

Well perhaps
our new President Pence

but after your all-destructive presidency

satirizing a mere right-wing
homophobic anti-feminist
so-called Christian jerkhole

who probably lacks
your freewheeling Twitter ways

is going to be tough
for her.

(She'll try though.)


This poem © 2019 Emily Cooper.

Moscow Mitch Capitulates

Said
(or rather
admitted)
Senate Majority Leader
and the self-styled "Grim Reaper"
openly proud of his past present
and likely future record
of impeding progress
on guns
healthcare
climate change
and anything else important
Mitch McConnell yesterday

"The Senate impeachment rules
are very clear.

The Senate
would have to take up an impeachment resolution
if it came over from the House"

adding "I would have no choice but to take it up.”


This poem © 2019 Emily Cooper.

A Color Inquiry

After being made aware
of conversations between the President
and Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky

today House Speaker Pelosi
decided that that fakey orange spray-tan color
was just no good on Trump

and mused aloud
on the possibility of him looking better
in peach.


This poem © 2019 Emily Cooper.

Founding Mothers

Goodbye Cokie Roberts
and thank you
for your trailblazing service

in broadcast journalism.

Even Trump

albeit mixing in
some traditional I-can't-take-criticism rhetoric

likely aimed at Roberts' urging of "rational" Republicans
to reject the then-candidate
back in early 2016

and her later confrontation with Trump
on live TV
about the effect of his racist rhetoric
on children's behavior with their classmates

said

“She never treated me nicely.
But I would like to wish her family well.

She was a professional
and I respect professionals.

I respect you guys a lot
you people a lot.

She was a real professional.
Never treated me well

but I certainly respect her as a professional.”

This poem © 2019 Emily Cooper.

The Don

Said the man with Mafia connections
and a record of hush-money payments
contradicting the rules of Customs and Border Protection

of the people trying to flee the Dorian-ravaged islands
with the clothes on their backs
and probably no papers

showcasing not only his lack of compassion
but limited vocabulary as well

“I don’t want to allow people
that weren’t supposed to be in the Bahamas

to come into the United States
including some very bad people
and some very bad gang members

and some very, very bad drug dealers."

Said Bahamas resident Vida Hepburn

perhaps too charitably

"He's an idiot."


This poem © 2019 Emily Cooper.

He Who Does Not See

On Sunday
after canceling a trip to Poland
to monitor Hurricane Dorian

President Trump was asked if he had a message
for the Central European country
commemorating the eightieth anniversary
of the start of World War II

(which in starker terms
that the interviewer perhaps unwisely omitted

was two days after
being invaded by Nazi Germany)

and gave an unusual response

(even more so considering
Vice President Pence

there in his stead

said something appropriate)

that can be summed up
in one word

"Congratulations."

It all goes to show
that Trump really ought
to watch what he says

or people might start thinking

that he's either ignorant
or has no problem with Nazis

or perhaps
just perhaps mind you

both.

This poem © 2019 Emily Cooper.

Haiku on Hate

Hate's only as big
as the space we allow it
by keeping silent.

This poem © 2019 Emily Cooper.

Relay Racist

President Trump saying

"The retweet ...
was from somebody
that is a very respected conservative pundit.
So I think it was fine"

in defense of his Twitter-based amplification
of a conspiracy theory
tying the Clintons
to Jeffrey Epstein's death

is parallel to a person
someone
anyone

acting like it's fine
to smile and say "Only in the Panhandle"

in response to a rallygoer who says
"Shoot them"
meaning Mexican migrants

because the rallygoer
said it first.

Oh wait.

This poem © 2019 Emily Cooper.

Defining

Goodbye Toni Morrison.

Even as he mimics a person
calling out bigotry and hate
(until he speaks or tweets again)

Trump will never be wise enough
to heed your words

but thank you for saying

“Definitions belong to the definers
not the defined.”

This poem © 2019 Emily Cooper.

Shamestown

On this day in 1619
the House of Burgesses

that is
the lower house of the colonial Virginia legislature

convened for the first time.

The state Democratic legislative caucus
and the Black Legislative Caucus

have both said they would boycott
the 400th anniversary ceremony

after it was confirmed
that President Trump
would be delivering remarks.

Virginia State Democrats
Eileen Filler-Corn
Charniele Herring
Dick Saslaw

and Mamie Locke

summed up the collective sentiment
to the Jamestown-Yorktown Foundation
the organization responsible
for the ongoing commemoration events

saying
"Send him back."


This poem © 2019 Emily Cooper.

Don't Read the Articles

Today at the conservative
Turning Point USA Teen Student Action Summit

Trump did that thing
where he says he did nothing wrong

while implying that he could've done something wrong
if he'd wanted to

(but rest assured
he didn't)

assuring the audience that Mueller's report
found "no collusion"

then adding
“I have an Article II,
where I have the right to do
whatever I want as President."

Funnily enough
Article II says nothing like that

but does say
in the last section

"The President,
Vice President
and all civil Officers of the United States,

shall be removed from Office on Impeachment for,
and Conviction of, Treason, Bribery,
or other high Crimes and Misdemeanors."

This is further proof
that the President is illiterate

and specifically requests
the "executive dictator version"
of all documents

including the founding ones.


This poem © 2019 Emily Cooper.