In Case of Dinner

If a friend of yours
invites you to a nice dinner

wear a tailored suit
show good manners at all times

and make relevant intelligent
and most of all respectful points

about the deficit
about gun control
about immigration

and whatever else
he asks you about.

When it's time to go
shake his hand
and thank him for his time.

This poem © 2013 Emily Cooper.

Under Pressure

Rick Santorum
was "Google-bombed"
once already

by a savage man
who usurped
his namesake

(both retroactively
and henceforth)

into every
un-Biblical act
of The Act.

But Rick you poor man
now you say

that accepting gay marriage
would be
"suicidal"
for the GOP.

This citizen is sad
to think
that you would do that
just because
you have to betray
who you really are.

This poem © 2013 Emily Cooper.

Maggie You Couldn't Have Tried Anymore

Margie
this citizen
was neither in
the place
nor time to
know you

and so 
this citizen
shall reserve judgment
 
but to wherever
you're called

take care of yourself.

This poem © 2013 Emily Cooper.

Post-Future Perfect

When the earth 
has smashed itself
back into
its component parts

and the eternal creatures
who evolved
from the radioactivity 

can not conceive
of things like "Saturday" 
or "mail delivery" or
any "communication requiring
primitive physical movement
of atomic matter"

the Emily Post Institute
will still exist
as a sentient feather
in a black hat
slogging diligently

in the name
of the timeless virtues

consideration
honesty
and respect

through the yellow
sulfuric haze.

This poem © 2013 Emily Cooper.

Zero-Sum Game

One side
stands for
will always stand
for something
for good 

and the other side
stands up
wills itself to stand
for that something
for its own good.

Math said
minus one times
minus one
make one.

Someone in history said
"The enemy
of my enemy
is my friend."

This citizen came to accept
both statements

while still doubting
the logic

but sometimes
those bleeding hearts
do push against
those reactionaries

bringing the equation
to the side of love

and though
it seems like
small reward

in a certain light
it's wonderful
that we can stand together
as approximately 1.

This poem © 2013 Emily Cooper.

Hold That Dough (Obama's Sort-Of Rap)

(This one goes out
to all the government workers
who are taking unpaid
time off
and to all the men and women
out there who wonder
"What's the deal
with this deal?")

Hold that dough
man I'm gonna cut a check
just for John and Jane Q
to see that I connect 

Stay with me folks
look I got the thing right here
a check for 20K
or in case it's hard to hear
twenty-thousand dollars
better make it  
last a year

I know this is symbolic
since the Feds spend this
like [snaps] 

but just know ...
just know ...

we will ...
get through this
my fellow ...
Americans.

Thank you
peace out!

(Lord, I sure hope so.)

This poem © 2013 Emily Cooper.

Conquista-DoRA

North Carolina
y'all fine lawmaker fellows
and women please please

don't embarrass us   
He says those nails hurt way worse
than the Bill of Rights.

This poem © 2013 Emily Cooper.

In Your Head, Zombies

Obama decided to give
a cool $100 million
to the B.R.A.I.N.

Brain Research
Through
Advancing Innovative Neurotechnologies
 
(one of those delightful
recursive acronyms).

Perhaps a decade from now
neuroscientists will come back
and share with the public

the news we
already knew:
humans have so
so much
untapped potential.

Yay!
(Yay?)

This poem © 2013 Emily Cooper.

Overarching Morals

Mr. Kevin Keller
and Dr. Clay Walker
got gay-
(interracially-)
married last year

and nobody cared
but Veronica

so soon
maybe soon baby

we can put this issue
behind us.

This poem © 2013 Emily Cooper.

Pont FX (Haiku)

If you're still Catholic
go see the New Guy in charge
the Old Guy chose him

This poem © 2013 Emily Cooper.

Planet B

Hey there

Life on Earth got you
feeling hurt
scorned
rejected?

Well
hold on
hold on
ooh baby

Just across the Way
is a mass just starting
its several
hundred thousand-
(give or take)
year-birth

a lovely thing
already
poised to be
twice the size
of Jupiter

Hope we don't end
up hating
what our galaxy
may be creating

This poem © 2013 Emily Cooper.

Romnecian Omission

Romney Romney Romney
you were there
you were there
on the TV
facing Obama

Republicans were
none too excited
but obligated

trying desperately
to make you stand out
and blend in

Democrats were
terrified of this
old white guy
with the religion
That Must Not Be Named

(the further left
was occupied
this time behind
their own walls
sobbing)

November 6th
came and went

Obama won
with room to spare

then suddenly Romney
you were not anywhere
anywhere

but
next month you'll be
at the Conservative Political Action Conference
you say

okay

wait
where?

This poem © 2013 Emily Cooper.

W. Leaks

Someone
by the name of Guccifer
finally hacked his way
into several Bush
family email accounts

uncovering
top secret
private data

first
about Senior ex-president:

pictures of him
sick in the hospital
and messages
back and forth
worried and concerned
about his health
(as was the whole nation
of course)

but then
about Junior ex-president:

message
with attachment
that shows that
while in office
he had spent considerable
time making

a hand-painted portrait
of himself
taking a shower
and looking into
the shower mirror.

Information wants to be free.

This poem © 2013 Emily Cooper.

I'll Make Love to Your Guns

On the list of the NRA's
National Organizations With Anti-Gun Policies:
the premier R&B crooners of the 90s
Boyz II Men.
What did these silky-smooth
perfect-voiced
men ever do to deserve
this irrational ire?

Boyz II Men is
the anti-hostility
the anti-
impulsiveness that leads to more
of NRA's "enemies"
than this citizen
or this nation
could ever care to count
so
NRA leaders

if you hear them sing
so buttery soft
and in unison

I'll hold you tight
baby all through the night

and you think about
not a beautiful woman
(or man)
in your arms
but your beautiful
shiny firearms

then that's fine

but just be aware
that some will find
your love
an ungodly abomination

yes even
Boyz II Men.

This poem © 2013 Emily Cooper.

The Massive Impact

Though portrayed

as a milquetoast middling

windsurfing senator

from Massachusetts

his words condemning

Vietnam

and making demands

of the men who'd helped to orchestrate

the bloodshed

were enough to get through

to Nixon.

And save thousands

of lives

East and West.

This poem © 2013 Emily Cooper.

Stated Clearly

If a woman who just recovered
from a concussion
can respond to
calculated naivety
smug put-downs
and even an unpaid alternate universe
presidential campaign speech

without swearing
without shouting
without running crying from the room
without even stopping to rest her eyes
because she is hopelessly boggled

then her brain is just fine
and it is they who need
their heads examined.

(They may have a
pre-existing condition.)

This poem © 2013 Emily Cooper.

44

He said it first
four years ago,
then again
four years later:
"I want to take a look
one more time."

This poem © 2013 Emily Cooper.