Only Positive Results

Hillary Clinton
left a September 11th commemorative event early

complaining of feeling hot

and was subsequently diagnosed
with pneumonia.

And naturally
many "Retrumplicans" feel vindicated

in their prior assessments
of her health.

Even after taking into account
that Donald Trump pressured

his less-than-scrupulous doctor
into writing a glowing review
of the Republican candidate's health

in five minutes

as he waited in a limo

he may very well
be completely physiologically well

but it should be apparent
that if Clinton gets sick in office

it'll be working pneumonia.


This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

Continental Regress


On this day in 1776
the Continental Congress

adopted a resolution
to call their freshly acquired lands "United States"

instead of "United Colonies". 

On this day in 2017
this poet will inform you

if this remains the same

or if the current president
has generously licensed his name

to "we the people"

for a very modest fee. 

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

The Tears of a Clown

The creepy clown

(which is frequently

but to be fair
not always
a redundant term)

dressed in white overalls
white gloves

and red shoes

with the characteristic curly hair
and painted face

previously spotted in South Carolina
using candy as bait
to attempt to lure kids
into the woods

has arrived in the city of Winston-Salem
in this poet's home state
of North Carolina.

And since the only thing
that can stop a clown

is another clown

Donald Trump knows
what he needs to do.


This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

Cornered by Carne

In the dystopia
of the near future

according to Latinos for Trump founder
Marco Gutierrez

not only will there be all the presumed
and therefore left unsaid
raping and cocaine-smuggling

but "you're going to have taco trucks
on every corner."

Even committed racists
would have trouble

disavowing this possible universe
for the sake
of their beliefs.


This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

Tyranny of the Asses

Donald Trump went to Mexico
to meet privately
with President Enrique Peña Nieto

and it was just as successful
as people other than Donald Trump
thought it would be.

At a joint news conference
following the meeting

he backtracked on his oft-repeated promise
of making Mexico pay for a border wall

which also happens to be
one of his very few points
of actual policy

such as it is

clarifying that the two
had discussed a wall

but that it was not yet decided
who would pay for it.

Then Trump flew back to the States

and said to a rally in Phoenix
“Mexico will pay for the wall
believe me

100 percent
they don’t know it yet
but they will pay for the wall.”

At least in the end

Trump got to piss off Mexico
and help ruin Peña Nieto's reputation

with historian Enrique Krauze
saying he had made
an "historic error"
by inviting Trump

elaborating that “You confront tyrants.
You don’t appease them.”

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

The Challenges of Global Interdependence

Throughout the years
most of the Clinton Foundation's donors

have given the organization
less than $250.

Fewer than a quarter of one percent

the list of whom
being freely available on their website

have given $100,001 to $250,000
in lifetime contributions.

And on the first page of that list
is a "Donald J. Trump".

It is to be presumed
he'll cut ties with them
once he takes office.

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

The Deranged-er Zone

(Apologies to Kenny Loggins)
(Sung by Donald Trump to Hillary Clinton)

What's "alt-right"?
Why Ms. Crooked
worried 'bout me?

Just 'cause I cater to whites
who like their own supremacy?

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

Coloradon'ts

In Jefferson County Colorado

there is an office
where a 12-year-old
named Weston Imer

is in charge of coordinating volunteers
and getting out the vote
for Donald Trump.

The officially listed coordinator
is his mother Laurel

who says
of her son's weighty duties
that only get weightier

every time Trump opens his mouth

"You have a responsibility
to your children to teach them."


This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

Shrinking 'Paigns

Paul Manafort
the Trump campaign chairman

who was hired to replace manager
Corey Lewandowski
after he resigned

has now quit

for reasons probably completely unrelated

to the discovery
by government investigators

at Manafort's office in Kiev
the capital of Ukraine

a line in the ledger
indicating that Manafort accepted $12.7 million
in undisclosed cash payments

from former President Mr. Yanukovych’s
pro-Russian political party
between 2007 and 2012

and the fact that Donald Trump
will always refuse to be
anything like "managed".

Now who will be left
to man the fort?

(Because it was going so well.)


This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

The Wrong and Violent Type

For a man
who craves attention

at all times

no matter the cost
and especially if there is a cost

to what could loosely be called
a reputation

it may be notable

that Donald Trump
has only just begun airing

general election television ads.

Maybe soon
we'll finally get to see the man

being completely comfortable
in his own skin.

In this controlled environment
the candidate

should have no problem
with demonstrating his self-declared "single greatest strength"

of "temperament."

(Just as long
as any speaking parts
are removed before airing.)

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

Hate Me Five Times

Donald Trump
cannot contend with the fact
that American voters

would dare use
his "The Apprentice" catchphrase
"You're fired"
against him

even though
he wants just one "Trump was right" 
giant coronation bash

and does not want
to be president

nor with the feeling of embarrassment
at blaming his loss
on unprecedented conspiratorial actions

on their part. 

Said the candidate

"We're going to watch Pennsylvania.

Go down to certain areas
and watch and study

and make sure
other people don't come in
and vote five times."


This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

Words Are Loaded Pistols

A US Secret Service official
has reported that "there has been
more than one conversation" 

with Donald Trump
since the candidate on Thursday

said at a rally
that maybe "the Second Amendment people"

could prevent Hillary Clinton from appointing
Supreme Court justices
who favor gun control.

Of course Trump denies
the meeting ever took place.

Said the former head of the CIA
retired Gen. Michael Hayden

"You're not just responsible
for what you say.

You are responsible
for what people hear."

But that won't help a candidate

whose brain hears everything he says
and turns it into

"I'm the greatest
so shut up."

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

Unplanned Concession

Planned Parenthood
in its infinite wisdom

has conceived of
so to speak
another way to ruin America

in its launching
of the non-partisan campaign
"My Vote, My Voice"

to make voters
out of the people most affected
by voter suppression laws

and who are regularly
most in need of the services
that the organization provides

including youth
the poor
and people of color.

Volunteers in 45 states

will set up "action" tables
outside of Planned Parenthood health centers
and throughout these communities

where they will register voters

educate them
about their state's voter ID laws

and of course
remind them to vote
in November.

Unfortunately very few of these people
are likely to vote
for the Republican candidate

who wants to defund the organization.

(So unfair.)

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

What a Feminist Looks Like

President Obama
has written an essay

for Glamour magazine
explaining why he identifies

as a feminist.

He expresses gratitude
that his tenure as president

shortens his commute to "45 seconds"
and thus lets him spend
more time with his daughters.

He says that the experience of fatherhood
has allowed him to be

a direct witness
to the "enormous pressure girls are under
to look and behave
and even think a certain way"

even as they become successful

noting the particular challenges
faced by women of color
including his wife Michelle.

He concludes the essay
with the reminder
that "It's never been just about the Benjamins.
It's about the Tubmans too"

and that
"when everybody is equal
we are all more free."

Meanwhile Donald Trump
is on the sidelines

confident in his knowledge
that the key to solving sexual harassment
in the workplace

is for women to change jobs.

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

Sacrificial Voting

Though incomparable to those
of the Muslim solider Humayun Khan

who died in the act
of protecting the lives of his comrades
from a suicide car bomb

to be completely fair
to his own self-assessment

Donald Trump has made plenty of sacrifices

the most notable being
those traits of dignity
honor
grace and poise

as well as even
the loosest grasp on reality

or contrition in the face of wrongdoing
or dumbsaying.

This notable addition
to the pile

may even lead
to Trump voters

sacrificing their right
to make terrible decisions.

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

Give Love a Good Name

Hillary Clinton
is now officially

the Democratic nominee.

And one of the speakers
at the convention

was the Rev. Dr. William J. Barber, II

someone from this poet's home state
of North Carolina

who represented
the anti-HB2 antibodies

still coursing through the blood of the state

and who preached even
to the non-believers

an inclusive message of defibrillation.

"We must shock this nation
with the power of love.

We must shock this nation
with the power of mercy.

We must shock this nation
and fight for justice for all.

We can’t give up on
the heart of our democracy

not now
not ever!".


This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

Trump Training

It's sadly too late
for the Trump Train

to make another stop
at Michelle Obama's Quotable Brilliance Depot

but she definitely
waved to the Republican candidate

as he passed.

She described how she and Barack

have instilled in their daughters
"that when someone is cruel

or acts like a bully
you don’t stoop to their level.

No our motto is
when they go low
we go high."

And still
without naming names

she slung her arrows
through the candidate's favorite platform
when she said

"The issues a president faces
are not black and white
and cannot be boiled down to 140 characters."

That would be a revelation

if only Donald Trump
ever took a single moment

to stop reveling in himself.


This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

Notrump Contract

The bridge to our future.

Notrump.


This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

The Hill of Blights

Donald Trump's wife Melania's speech

may have been
meaning most definitely

was plagiarized from a 2008 speech
given by Michelle Obama

otherwise known
in GOP circles
as the six-foot-tall Satanic she-Devil

who wields a certain kind of power
even greater than her husband's

because in addition
to telling the truth about her own life in America
the good and the bad

she wears dresses
that show off her arms

and makes kids exercise
and eat their veggies.

And so yesterday Chris Christie

took it upon himself
to turn the tides away
from the incident

and to crowdsource the audience

by simulating a courtroom
in which he was the judge

and the attendees were the jury
judging Hillary Clinton "guilty"

for each of a series
of policy decisions

as though each were a crime

thus bringing to life
the wholly-original-to-the-GOP turn of phrase

"Lock her up!"

Well done Christie.

Sadly it might even be too original
for that oppressive set of ideals

called American democracy.

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

The Un-Convention

On the eve
of the GOP convention

we know that the speaker list
consists of in part

Donald Trump's four children
and his wife Melania

professional golfer Natalie Gulbis

and former Calvin Klein underwear model
Antonio Sabato Jr.

The other presenters

meaning the ones
who have not yet declined the invitation

in large part
are uncharismatic
and more traditionally mean-spirited Congresspeople

who have nonetheless
been derided by Trump himself
in such a way

that even more left-leaning people
will feel a pang of sympathy for them.

Attendees can expect

that Trump will spend the first night

after years of investigations
giving them the definitive answer
on the Benghazi incident

then the second night
discussing everything Trump knows
about the economy

the third night
pressuring Vice Presidential nominee Mike Pence
to think of anything good to say about Trump

and the fourth night
embarrassing the openly gay Silicon Valley billionaire
Peter Thiel

by making him speak
to a party adopting homophobia and transphobia

as one of the planks
on their platform.

There will also be a presentation

detailing former President Bill Clinton's
sexual misconduct

about which of course
nothing has ever been said.

And no one

not the celebrities
not the politicians

not the delegates
not the family relations

and probably
not even the guest of honor

will really
want to be there.


This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.