Taking the Cake

Texas Republican lawmakers
sure know how to party.

State legislators on Tuesday
celebrated Faith and Family Day

which was organized
by Texas Values
and Texas Right to Life

to celebrate ten years
of marriage inequality.

In January
State Representative Cecil Bell

introduced a bill
that would strip of his or her
pension and salary

any employee
who performed a same-sex marriage.

They celebrated with a cake

which according to rumors
about Marie Antoinette

was callously recommended by her

as a replacement for bread
for the French poor

just as legally-encoded bigotry
is a fine substitution

for the millions in "bread"
marriage equality
would bring to the state

(not to mention
several tasty layers of dignity).

This poem © 2015 Emily Cooper.

The Way It Should Be

Though "Selma" was snubbed
at the Oscars last night

and the award-winners
were strikingly un-diverse

R&B performer John Legend

was still able to get a word in edgewise
when he and Common
accepted the award

for the song "Glory"

"It's an artist's duty
to reflect the times
in which we live. 

We wrote this song for a film
that was based on events

that were fifty years ago

but we say that Selma is now
because the struggle
for justice is right now."

This poem © 2015 Emily Cooper.

The Most Exceptional

White House spokesman
Josh Earnest

was appropriately so

when he said he felt
"sorry for Rudy Giuliani"

after the former
New York City mayor

declared that Obama
"doesn’t love you.
And he doesn’t love me.

He wasn’t brought up the way
you were brought up

and I was brought up
through love of this country."

He said
of the World War II-draft dodger

and son
of a Mafia enforcer

“It is sad to see when somebody

who has attained a certain level
of public stature
and even admiration

tarnishes that legacy so thoroughly.”

This poem © 2015 Emily Cooper.

Bad News Talking This and That

Pharrell will be writing
four new books for children

the first
a 250,000-copy run of "Happy"
inspired by his hit song

due out
on September 22nd.

That's a cute idea Pharrell

but then can you please
write one for adults?

This poem © 2015 Emily Cooper.

Christian Fundamentalism

Pope Francis has appointed
twenty new cardinals
from fourteen countries

with more of them hailing
from non-European countries
than European

in an attempt to show
the Vatican's "inseparable link"
with Catholics around the world.

As if that weren't mushy enough
of an agenda

one cardinal
Soane Patita Paini Mafia

is from the island of Tonga
home to a tiny community
of 17,000 Catholics

and threatened by climate change.

Cardinal Jose Luis Lacunza Maestrojuanan
is from Panama

and has campaigned to protect
indigenous peoples.

Last January
among the nineteen cardinals
he nominated

were clergy from Haiti
and Burkina Faso.

He has said he wants to see
an overhaul of the Church

that would bring it closer
to ordinary people.

This rhetoric sounds similar

to what the GOP
has been declaring
again and again

they've wanted to do

but with Governor Rick Perry
out on the campaign trail

implying that his rejection
of Medicaid

was an informed decision
on the part of poor Texans
not to have health insurance

this style of tough love
seems to be selling
about as well

as the premise
for Fifty Shades of Grey.

This poem © 2015 Emily Cooper.

The Daily Sco' Walker Repor'

First Colbert
and now Stewart

the two most-heralded stalwarts
of fake news

will be leaving
their respective shows.

Who will take the helm?

Maybe Scott Walker

who was in London
at the Chatham House
International Affairs Think Tank

and was asked the question

"Are you comfortable
with the idea of evolution? Do you believe in it?"

to which he replied

"For me
I am going to punt
on that one as well.

That's a question
politicians shouldn't be involved in
one way or another."

When pressed
he answered

"I love the evolution
of trade in Wisconsin."

Let's just hope
he doesn't waste

all his material
before getting elected.

This poem © 2015 Emily Cooper.

The Carolina Way

Rest in peace
Dean Smith.

Thanks for fighting against
racial discrimination

in a pre-Civil Rights South

and showing
the rest of the country

through your coaching philosophy
of “play hard
play together
play smart”

that decency could thrive
in North Carolina.

This poem © 2015 Emily Cooper.

Traditional Bacterial Populations

Pope Francis became the first Pontiff
to first of all

declare the Internet
"a gift from God"

and secondly
hold a Google Hangouts video chat
with special-needs kids.

He will be addressing Congress
in September

during his first visit
to the US.

Today Obama
met the Dalai Lama

and though was advised
not to talk with him

nonetheless praised him
and greeted him
with a bow-like gesture.

Meanwhile in North Carolina

Republican Senator Thom Tillis
is seeking to deregulate hand-washing

ostensibly so that private businesses
don't have to live with the pressure

of following regulations
that ensure consumer safety

(but probably also because
he doesn't mind
if passers-by catch a whiff

of his own
private business

to hearken them back
to the days

when most ailments
were solved with whiskey

because Big Science
hadn't cured cholera yet)

meaning that to ensure
the Pope doesn't get sick

he'll either
have to greet him
with a Communist bow

or a scientifically-proven
more-sanitary
Muslim fist bump.

It's a circuitous route
to bipartisan-ism
but one we should all applaud

with our defiantly unwashed
disease-carrying

and furthermore
uncompromisingly American hands.

This poem © 2015 Emily Cooper.

Today Is Tomorrow

Today Obama
introduced the $4 trillion 2016 budget

by saying

"These proposals will

put more money
in middle-class pockets

raise wages

and bring more
high-paying jobs to America."

He proposed large tax increases

in education

infrastructure construction
and workforce development

mentioning how long overdue
these measures were.

Then he looked ahead
to the GOP-led Congress

occupying endless news cycles

with presidential campaign speeches

(against a to-be-civilian
version of himself)

disguised as genuine talking points

and silently envied winter.

This poem © 2015 Emily Cooper.