The Future of Resistance

(Sung by Indiana Governor Mike Pence)
(Apologies to Leonard Cohen)

There are fewer folks that side

side with my intentions

and I'm nothing
but the spirit

of my measures anymore.

The boycotts
the boycotts
have crossed the threshold

and I have overwritten
the words with words

to Band-Aid
this discrimination hole.

When they said "Fuck Pence"
"Fuck Pence"
"Fuck Pence"

I wonder what they meant?

This poem © 2015 Emily Cooper.

Noah's Arc

Welcome to the Daily Show
Trevor Noah.

You may be well known
in your home country

of South Africa
on "Tonight with Trevor Noah".

However we Americans
know two things

about your home

which are Nelson Mandela
and fake sign language

presented at world-broadcasted funerals
for the same.

Please Trevor
at least in these early weeks
while we're still warming up

to holding
a third piece of information
about South Africa
in our heads

do play gently with us.

This poem © 2015 Emily Cooper.

Lahontan Cutthroat Trout

Goodbye Harry Reid

(at least when you leave
on January third 2017).

We'll remember fondly
your bold policy endorsements

your excoriation
of the Koch brothers

and that time in July 1978
when you chaired
the Nevada Gaming Commission

and a man named Jack Gordon
tried to bribe you
with $12,000

to approve new gaming devices
for casino use

and instead of reciting
your one line
"Is this the money?
as rehearsed

you instead got up
and strangled him.

This poem © 2015 Emily Cooper.

You May Say He's a Dreamer

It's already too late
for Ted Cruz.

He now has enrolled
his family into Obamacare

and according to the White House

he's overcome his 21-hour-filibuster
of the Affordable Care Act

and actually likes it.

How will he be reconciling
his benefiting
from government-sponsored health care

with his very recent pledge
to "repeal every word"
of the law?

Perhaps by changing his stance
on this issue?

Or maybe
just like a petty cartoon villain

by keeping it for himself
and not letting
anyone else have it

because certainly
his constituents

don't believe in entitlements.

This poem © 2015 Emily Cooper.

A Quiet Storm

(Apologies to Smokey Robinson)
(Sung by Ted Cruz)

America let's Cruz
away from here

For 2016
the way is clear

A Falwell-er or not
you'll want us forever

though I'm a
one-term senate "baby".

Let my just-as-calculated-as-Hillary's
country campaign music
take your mind

Just release and you will find.

America's gonna fly away

to God's and Jesus'
and my way

I love it
when we're Cruz-ing together.

This poem © 2015 Emily Cooper.

No New Tachles

Just won the Israeli election

and Netanyahu
has already backtracked

on his promise
to keep Israel

a completely undisputed
and non-volatile
one-state solution.

Even the first George Bush
told us
"No new taxes"

and yet was subject
to the Obama administration's

re-stitching of the very fabric
of time itself

to make his decisions
conform to the liberal agenda.

How else to explain it?

So when you
make your brackets

remember that Obama
has not yet wished him

a "Happy Heedless Bilateral" agreement
as is usually done

while in process
of re-evaluating his administration's approach
to peace talks.

Sadly you may
have to place your bets

squarely in the socialist camp

if you want to win
your office pool.

This poem © 2015 Emily Cooper.

Fighting for a Living

The world is fast

(or at least less "glacially"

if the movement of glaciers
in our age
still linguistically implies "slow")

becoming
an unrecognizable place

one in which
even one-percenter
real estate millionaire tycoons

like Richard Durst

can face trial

(with the possibility
of the death penalty)

for murder.

And one in which

despite a stern warning from Obama saying
"I understand this is important to you
but as you be thinking

about climate change
the economy and jobs

war and peace

maybe way at the bottom
you should be thinking
about marijuana"

there is a possibility

with enough approval
from individual states

(and granted
with the current Congress
with which to reckon)

the drug could become decriminalized
at the federal level

meaning those who chose to partake

many of whom
are often decidedly un-wealthy
(among other things)

wouldn't be arrested.

Until Durst's trial
and it is safe everywhere
to toke in public

we will bide our time

observing some sort of allegory
for our world

in the squared circle

with Mitt Romney
facing Evander Holyfield

in a charity boxing match.


This poem © 2015 Emily Cooper.

Iran-ning into the Ground

Even with the consolation
that every five years

Iran is five years away
from building a nuclear bomb

Congressional Republicans
should probably at this point

not stress their pretty little heads

about trying to manage
our reputation abroad

and should just
have a table in the corner

with a "2016 Connect-the-GOP-Candidates-
Electoral-Talking-Points"

children's activity book.

This poem © 2015 Emily Cooper.

Yearning to Breathe Free

Rest in peace Claude Sitton

who has died

at the age of 89. 

Even if he had not received

due recognition

in the form of a Pulitzer Prize

for his on-the-ground

civil rights reporting

for the News & Observer

in this poet's home state

of North Carolina

his work would have been

no less important

just as those
who were ever referred to
as the so-called huddled masses

if at all.

This poem © 2015 Emily Cooper.

Justice Saving Time

We shall overcome

after we undergo

but it would be nice

if some trusted authority

would put a date

to someday. 

This poem © 2015 Emily Cooper.

Freedom Falafel

Yeah so maybe
the US and Israel
aren't besties anymore

but as is his way
even though fifty Democrats
skipped Netanyahu's speech altogether

Obama was gracious
threw only the slightest of shades

and gave the biggest understatement
so far in 2015.

"I think it's important to realize the depth of
the US-Israeli relationship."

"The military and intelligence cooperation is unprecedented.
That bond is unbreakable."

"When George W. Bush
initiated the war in Iraq

if they had invited
let's say the President of France

to appear before Congress to criticize
or to air those disagreements

I think most people would say
'Well that wouldn't be the right thing to do.'"

This poem © 2015 Emily Cooper.

Logic is the Beginning of Wisdom

Oregon Republican Representative
Bill Post

delivered a moving tribute
to Leonard Nimoy

declaring “Today is a sad day in history"
because "today the greatest Republican

in the history of the galaxy
passed away"

because "he was a legal alien
who believed in prosperity."

Though he gave his tribute
before Post did

Obama crafted
a fine counterargument

as to how "illogical" it was

that Spock would've counted himself
amongst today's GOP

when he said

"Leonard was a lifelong lover
of the arts and humanities

a supporter of the sciences"

and "generous with his talent
and his time"

then continued

that he was "cool
logical
big-eared and level-headed"

and serving as "the center of
Star Trek’s optimistic
inclusive vision
of humanity’s future."

This poem © 2015 Emily Cooper.

Taking the Cake

Texas Republican lawmakers
sure know how to party.

State legislators on Tuesday
celebrated Faith and Family Day

which was organized
by Texas Values
and Texas Right to Life

to celebrate ten years
of marriage inequality.

In January
State Representative Cecil Bell

introduced a bill
that would strip of his or her
pension and salary

any employee
who performed a same-sex marriage.

They celebrated with a cake

which according to rumors
about Marie Antoinette

was callously recommended by her

as a replacement for bread
for the French poor

just as legally-encoded bigotry
is a fine substitution

for the millions in "bread"
marriage equality
would bring to the state

(not to mention
several tasty layers of dignity).

This poem © 2015 Emily Cooper.

The Way It Should Be

Though "Selma" was snubbed
at the Oscars last night

and the award-winners
were strikingly un-diverse

R&B performer John Legend

was still able to get a word in edgewise
when he and Common
accepted the award

for the song "Glory"

"It's an artist's duty
to reflect the times
in which we live. 

We wrote this song for a film
that was based on events

that were fifty years ago

but we say that Selma is now
because the struggle
for justice is right now."

This poem © 2015 Emily Cooper.

The Most Exceptional

White House spokesman
Josh Earnest

was appropriately so

when he said he felt
"sorry for Rudy Giuliani"

after the former
New York City mayor

declared that Obama
"doesn’t love you.
And he doesn’t love me.

He wasn’t brought up the way
you were brought up

and I was brought up
through love of this country."

He said
of the World War II-draft dodger

and son
of a Mafia enforcer

“It is sad to see when somebody

who has attained a certain level
of public stature
and even admiration

tarnishes that legacy so thoroughly.”

This poem © 2015 Emily Cooper.

Bad News Talking This and That

Pharrell will be writing
four new books for children

the first
a 250,000-copy run of "Happy"
inspired by his hit song

due out
on September 22nd.

That's a cute idea Pharrell

but then can you please
write one for adults?

This poem © 2015 Emily Cooper.

Christian Fundamentalism

Pope Francis has appointed
twenty new cardinals
from fourteen countries

with more of them hailing
from non-European countries
than European

in an attempt to show
the Vatican's "inseparable link"
with Catholics around the world.

As if that weren't mushy enough
of an agenda

one cardinal
Soane Patita Paini Mafia

is from the island of Tonga
home to a tiny community
of 17,000 Catholics

and threatened by climate change.

Cardinal Jose Luis Lacunza Maestrojuanan
is from Panama

and has campaigned to protect
indigenous peoples.

Last January
among the nineteen cardinals
he nominated

were clergy from Haiti
and Burkina Faso.

He has said he wants to see
an overhaul of the Church

that would bring it closer
to ordinary people.

This rhetoric sounds similar

to what the GOP
has been declaring
again and again

they've wanted to do

but with Governor Rick Perry
out on the campaign trail

implying that his rejection
of Medicaid

was an informed decision
on the part of poor Texans
not to have health insurance

this style of tough love
seems to be selling
about as well

as the premise
for Fifty Shades of Grey.

This poem © 2015 Emily Cooper.

The Daily Sco' Walker Repor'

First Colbert
and now Stewart

the two most-heralded stalwarts
of fake news

will be leaving
their respective shows.

Who will take the helm?

Maybe Scott Walker

who was in London
at the Chatham House
International Affairs Think Tank

and was asked the question

"Are you comfortable
with the idea of evolution? Do you believe in it?"

to which he replied

"For me
I am going to punt
on that one as well.

That's a question
politicians shouldn't be involved in
one way or another."

When pressed
he answered

"I love the evolution
of trade in Wisconsin."

Let's just hope
he doesn't waste

all his material
before getting elected.

This poem © 2015 Emily Cooper.

The Carolina Way

Rest in peace
Dean Smith.

Thanks for fighting against
racial discrimination

in a pre-Civil Rights South

and showing
the rest of the country

through your coaching philosophy
of “play hard
play together
play smart”

that decency could thrive
in North Carolina.

This poem © 2015 Emily Cooper.

Traditional Bacterial Populations

Pope Francis became the first Pontiff
to first of all

declare the Internet
"a gift from God"

and secondly
hold a Google Hangouts video chat
with special-needs kids.

He will be addressing Congress
in September

during his first visit
to the US.

Today Obama
met the Dalai Lama

and though was advised
not to talk with him

nonetheless praised him
and greeted him
with a bow-like gesture.

Meanwhile in North Carolina

Republican Senator Thom Tillis
is seeking to deregulate hand-washing

ostensibly so that private businesses
don't have to live with the pressure

of following regulations
that ensure consumer safety

(but probably also because
he doesn't mind
if passers-by catch a whiff

of his own
private business

to hearken them back
to the days

when most ailments
were solved with whiskey

because Big Science
hadn't cured cholera yet)

meaning that to ensure
the Pope doesn't get sick

he'll either
have to greet him
with a Communist bow

or a scientifically-proven
more-sanitary
Muslim fist bump.

It's a circuitous route
to bipartisan-ism
but one we should all applaud

with our defiantly unwashed
disease-carrying

and furthermore
uncompromisingly American hands.

This poem © 2015 Emily Cooper.

Today Is Tomorrow

Today Obama
introduced the $4 trillion 2016 budget

by saying

"These proposals will

put more money
in middle-class pockets

raise wages

and bring more
high-paying jobs to America."

He proposed large tax increases

in education

infrastructure construction
and workforce development

mentioning how long overdue
these measures were.

Then he looked ahead
to the GOP-led Congress

occupying endless news cycles

with presidential campaign speeches

(against a to-be-civilian
version of himself)

disguised as genuine talking points

and silently envied winter.

This poem © 2015 Emily Cooper.