Trumped by His Own Petard

In 2008
on Donald Trump's syndicated minute-long
radio show feature "Trumped!"

for which he gave his opinions

against tattoos

in favor of Michael Jackson's innocence

and critical of Saudi Arabian
easy divorce laws
and female pop stars getting married

for example

he said "At least one member
of [Mr. Obama’s] team
said Clinton would make a good vice president.

Well I know her
and she’d make a good president
or a good vice president.”

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

Not Even Fox-Worthy

To borrow from Jeff Foxworthy
of Blue Collar Comedy

if after a yearlong pointlessly incendiary
and somehow increasingly unhinged
and ignorant campaign

you stroll into Congress

for a meet-and-greet
with Republicans

get asked about protecting Article I
of the Constitution

and respond by listing numbers
until you name the non-existent
"Article XII"

tell the other Arizona senator Jeff Flake
who was not taken
as a POW

and is unwilling to support you
because of your comments
about a Hispanic judge

and is actually not up
for re-election

that you will make sure
the senator loses his election bid

and call absent senator
Mark Kirk a "loser"

you might be Donald Trump.

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

Recommit to Freedom

Happy belated birthday

to oldest Obama daughter Malia

who yesterday turned 18

and celebrated her independence

along with that of the country
over which
her father presides

though likely shortly into the festivities
Malia undoubtedly realized
she was more mature

than much of Congress.

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

Conspiring to Defeat Justice

Goodbye to Holocaust survivor
and Nobel Laureate

Elie Wiesel

who has died
at age 87.

And Donald Trump
has unfortunately backpedaled

on this lovely coincidental commemoration

that occurred
when he Tweeted an image

featuring Hillary Clinton's head
overlaying a pile of money

with the words
"Most Corrupt Candidate Ever"
written on a Star of David

then quickly replacing it
with a circle.

Trump has obviously chosen to forget

that the presidential race's
one actually Jewish candidate

would rather break apart the banks.

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

Odd Future

President Obama's summit
with Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau

and Mexican President Enrique Pena Nieto

in Ottawa

is going way better
than Donald Trump's Scottish adventure

despite his having zero hotels
or golf courses
licensed with his name.

One such example
occurred when the Canadian Parliament
today broke into chants

of "Four more years"

after Obama completed the first speech
given by a United States leader in Canada
since 1995.

Donald Trump may note
that Canada has its own leaders

that everyone there was aware
that Obama cannot
legally run for President again

and yet were expressing the hope

that he were able
to do so.

So it will take
some special creativity

to make this event
into a video
from 2025

after two successful Trump terms
come to a close.

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

A Trite Con Man

While on the papal plane
returning from Armenia

after having gone off-script
and used the word "genocide"

to describe the mass murder
that took place
in the early 20th century

Pope Francis also chose to come out

as the first one
to denounce Christians' treatment

of gay people

and saying they should apologize.

"The Church must ask forgiveness
for not behaving many times.

When I say the Church
I mean Christians.

The Church is holy.
We are sinners."

He added

"It has to ask forgiveness
for having blessed many weapons."

Of course
it can be assumed
the Republican presidential candidate

who is severely in need of forgiveness
will continue to deliberately refuse it

and furthermore
will continue to believe

that everyone else should apologize
for perceiving his blessings as weapons.

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

Highly Debatable

Sharing his opinion
of the Republican response
to gun violence

as exemplified
by their actions

following the 24-hour sit-in
staged by House Democrats

to secure a vote
on gun control measures

otherwise known as nothing

White House Press Secretary John Earnest said

"Cowards are people
who talk tough

in the hope
they will not be asked
to actually act."

And meanwhile the Republican candidate
has proven just how slow

of a learner he is

when in an NBC interview

when asked if he was ready
to debate Hillary Clinton

he said "I think my whole life
has been in preparation frankly."

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

Anger Management

With only a month to go
before the Republican National Convention

Donald Trump has just fired
his campaign manager

Corey Lewandowski

in an effort to bolster
his campaign

which has been plummeting continuously
toward an as-yet-unknown nadir

with Lewandowski
the dangling Band-Aid

over the gaping wound
called his mouth.

And really
any decision that is bad for Trump
is good for the country

so we should all applaud
his unconscious act of patriotism.

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

Can't Win for Losing

Iraqi Prime Minister Haider al-Abadi
has declared victory

minus some pockets of resistance

over the Islamic State
in Fallujah

with the militants
largely under control
of Iraqi Security Forces.

And Donald Trump
will simultaneously blame President Obama

for hobnobbing with the terrorists

and congratulate himself
for how much he did

to fight extremism.

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

Happy Birther Day

In the vein
of "Who watches the Watchmen?"

one wonders
"Who wishes a Happy 70th Birthday
to the perpetually feeding
happiness vampire

who is obsessively concerned
with where certain groups of people

and United States Presidents
were born"

known as Donald Trump?

Well Republicans in Congress do

as does Bill Maher
who today tweeted

"Happy Birther Day, @realDonaldTrump!"

with the hashtag
of "#WhinyLittleBitch"

though one suspects

the well wishes
were not completely sincere.

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

Run Christie Run

Meg Whitman
the CEO of Hewlett Packard

at a closed-door meeting
of Republicans

hosted by Mitt Romney
in Park City Utah

was reported
by one of the attendees

to have compared Trump
to Hitler and Mussolini 

and warned her colleagues
of the dangerous slippery slope

if they choose
to support the candidate
with “What happens next time?”.

Some are no doubt wondering
when "Trump's only
prominent and sincere

and apparently non-obligated
GOP endorser

and therefore a likely choice
for Trump's running mate"

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie
will wake up

realize what he's doing
and ask himself

"What happens this time?".

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

Still Feeling the Bern

Hillary Clinton
has won California

and the presumed nominee
is now looking for her vice president.

Bernie Sanders
will meet with President Obama on Thursday

and it is to be presumed

Obama will encourage the candidate
to exit from the race

to rally around Clinton
and to foster Democratic party unity

though as Sanders' campaign
has centered around
challenging both expectations
and the status quo

how he will actually
implement these recommendations
remains to be seen.

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

Free To Be

To the establishment
working against you

there is nothing more frightening

than being yourself
and all of yourself

when they don't even
want you to be.

May you rest in peace

Muhammad Ali.

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

Nukes of Hazard

Today Hillary Clinton
in a campaign rally

in San Diego

gave us all
an un-sugar-coated assessment
of the Republican candidate.

She described his ideas
as "not really ideas"

but instead "a series of bizarre rants
personal feuds
and outright lies"

then outlined a quite plausible scenario
under his foreign policy

saying "It's not hard to imagine Donald Trump
leading us into a war

just because somebody
got under his very thin skin"

and continued to articulate
what is quite obvious
to his detractors

(and his reluctant GOP endorsers)

but probably less so
to his supporters

that Trump is "not just unprepared"

but "temperamentally unfit to hold an office
that requires knowledge
stability and immense responsibility."

As Clinton then remarked
on his "nasty tweets"

Trump fired up Twitter
and very thoughtfully
composed the rebuttal

"Bad performance
by Crooked Hillary Clinton!

Reading poorly
from the teleprom[p]ter!

She doesn't even look presidential!"

and undoubtedly thought to himself

"I just called her ugly.
That'll show her."

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

Take Care of Our Own

“For us the living"
said President Obama today

at the Arlington National Cemetery

"those of us
who still have a voice

it is our responsibility
and our obligation

to fill our silence
with our love and gratitude

and not with just our words
but with our actions."

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

The Big Bad Socialist

Donald Trump
who just yesterday

said he'd "love to debate Bernie"
that "it would get very high ratings"
and "should be in a big arena"

and that the networks
should donate their profits from the debate
to "women's health issues"

has today changed his mind

meaning either he no longer cares
about high ratings
or big arenas

(or about pretending to care
about women's issues)

or that maybe
just maybe

his advisers think
he wouldn't know
how to respond.

Of course Trump
as is his way

gives twist endings
to his apparent compliments

when he says
that Hillary Clinton and Deborah Wasserman Schultz

have rigged the system
to keep Bernie Sanders from winning

but still concludes
"it seems inappropriate
that I would debate the second-place finisher."

To which Bernie Sanders sees Trump
and raises him a

"What are you afraid of?"

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

Wall of Confusion

Trump International
Golf Links & Hotel Ireland

has filed a statement
about building a sea wall

to protect the resort
from climate change

although Donald Trump
is still calling it a "hoax".

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

Many Taxing Returns

In Trump Logic Land
(also known as his brain)

Donald Trump
can ask the leader of the free world
to reveal his birth certificate

to prove
that he was not born in Kenya

while promising that then
he will disclose his tax returns

and said leader
can reveal his birth certificate

and in response Trump says
"It’s none of your business
you’ll see it when I release"

(whenever that will be)

and adds
undoubtedly in an effort
to reassure the public

"But I fight very hard
to pay as little tax as possible"

(as was revealed
in a 1981 report
from New Jersey Casino Control Commission

which said that in 1978 and 1979
he reported a combined income

of negative $3.8 million
and paid zero dollars in taxes)

and still expects
Americans should trust him
to alleviate their tax burden.

(Well maybe he'll do that

by telling them how to trick
the federal government

and exploit
some of those same loopholes.)

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

Voting Rights Amend-mints

There is now
a new flavor

of Ben & Jerry's ice cream

one which does not reference Bernie Sanders
as this poet predicted

but does use
the surmised suffix of "mint"

to call for "Empower Mint"

and it won't be long
till Donald Trump

tweets that the invention of the flavor
is a "sad" and "politically calculated" move

unlike of course
the introduction
of discriminatory voter ID laws.

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.

Laying the Foundation

Ivanka Trump

is putting in a good word
for her father Donald

by saying the candidate
has "elevated" the country's politics

which may be true

if she means that our political dialogue
has nowhere to go but up

or if by defining our values
against Trump's

we can build a bigger and better wall
around and above him.

This poem © 2016 Emily Cooper.